Boulevard Tree

By NERISA DEL CARMEN GUEVARA

Under the shadow of this tree
We are speckled by pieces of sun
Sliding between the leaves.
The wind falls
In slivers
Through the silences
Of roughened bark.

We are above it all
Perched like birds
Sitting on the branch
Like the foamed thoughts
Of the poets meditating
On the sea wall below.

Siquijor seems nearer to us
Than in our dreams.
And when the wind
Slips
Into our shirts,
We puff up like chicks
Wanting to fly.

Nerisa del Carmen Guevara is an Associate Professor teaching at the University of Santo Tomas. She has exhibited her installations and performance pieces at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, and other spaces. She has received a Palanca Award for her poetry, a Silver Cup for Dance Solo in the April Spring Festival in Pyongyang, and a Catholic Mass Media Award. She has an M.A. in English Studies from University of the Philippines, Diliman, and she is currently studying for a PhD in Creative Writing in the same university. A featured Southeast Asian performance artist, her documentaries Elegies and Infinite Gestures are currently in the archives of The Live Art Digital Agency (LADA), London. Guevara has done performance art pieces for the Philippine International Performance Art Festival, SIPA International Performance Art Festival, PERFORMATURA, and Grace Exhibition Space, New York. Her poetry is collected in Reaching Destination: Poems and the Search for Home [UST, 2004].

Bonsai

By EDITH LOPEZ TIEMPO

All that I love
I fold over once
And once again
And keep in a box
Or a slit in a hollow post
Or in my shoe.

All that I love?
Why, yes, but for the moment—
And for all time, both.
Something that folds and keeps easy,
Son’s note or Dad’s one gaudy tie,
A roto picture of a beauty queen,
A blue Indian shawl, even
A money bill.

It’s utter sublimation,
A feat, this heart’s control
Moment to moment
To scale all love down
To a cupped hand’s size,

Till seashells are broken pieces
From God’s own bright teeth,
And life and love are real
Things you can run and
Breathless hand over
To the merest child.

Edith Lopez Tiempo was born in Bayombong, Nueva Vizcaya in 1919. After her marriage to Edilberto Tiempo in 1940, the couple moved to Dumaguete City, where she earned her BA in English in 1947. She later pursued her MA at the University of Iowa as part of the famed Iowa Writers Workshop, graduating in 1950. In 1958, she earned her Ph.D. at the University of Denver in Colorado in 1958. In 1962, together with her husband, she co-founded the Silliman University National Writers Workshop. Her books include the short story collection Abide, Joshua and Other Stories [1964], the poetry collections The Tracks of Babylon and Other Poems [1966], The Charmer's Box and Other Poems [1993], Beyond, Extensions [1993], and Marginal Annotations and Other Poems [2010], and the novels A Blade of Fern [1978], His Native Coast [1979], The Alien Corn [1992], One, Tilting Leaves [1995], and The Builder [2004]. She has also published books on literary criticism, including Six Uses of Fictional Symbols [2004] and Six Poetry Formats and the Transforming Image [2008]. She has received awards from the Cultural Center of the Philippines, the Gawad Pambansang Alagad ni Balagtas from UMPIL, as well as from the Palanca and the Philippines Free Press. She was proclaimed National Artist for Literature in 1999. She died in 2011.

Dumaguete

By DIANA T. GAMALINDA

there is a town where the roads crawl
on their bellies to the sky.
under storm,
the roads murmur why
the warrior, the lover,
must learn
while fallen and fettered
to the dimness
and futility
of returning
to a town where the roads mourn
a short fire
besieged by stormy sky.

Diana T. Gamalinda was a poet, and a fellow at the Silliman University National Writers Workshop. Her work is collected in Circle With Open Ends. She died in 1978. She was only 19 years old.

The Bells Count in Our Blood

By MERLIE M. ALUNAN

“Every night at 8:00 we shall ring the bells for Father Romano, and we shall continue to do so until he is found.”
—The Redemptorist Community, Dumaguete City, September 1985

Every night just as we settle
To coffee or a mug of cold beer,
They ring the bells—
A crisp quick flurry first, then
Decorous as in a knell, ten counts.
Into the darkness newly fallen
The cadence calls for a brother lost.

At home as we try to wash off
With music and a little loving
The grime of markets from our souls—
The day’s trading of truth for bread,
Masks of honor, guises of peace—
The clear sounds infusing the air
Deny us the salve of forgetting.

We know for what they lost him,
Why expedient tyrants required
His name effaced, his bones hidden.
As we bend over the heads of children
Fighting sleep, not quite done with play,
The bells vibrating remind us how
Our fears conspires to seal his doom.

We could say to the ringers:
Your bells won’t bring him back,
But just supposing that it could,
What would you have?
A body maimed, perhaps, beyond belief—
Toes and fingers gone, teeth missing,
Tongue cut off, memory hacked witless.

The nights in our town
Are flavored with the dread
The bells salt down measured
From their tall dark tower.
It falls upon our raw minds wanting sleep.
Shall we stop them? Though we smart
We know they keep us from decay.

Shared in this keening,
A rhythm beating all night long
In our veins, truth is truth still
Though unworded. The bells
Count in our blood the heart of all
We must restore. Tomorrow, we vow,
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Merlie M. Alunan spent time in different places in the Visayas and Mindanao at different times in her life and thus acquired a level of fluency in the major Visayan languages. She finished her Bachelor’s Degree in Education at the University of the Visayas, major in English; and her Master’s Degree in Literature at Silliman University. She taught in several schools all over the Visayas: Silliman University, Divine Word College in Tagbilaran City [now Holy Name University], and the University of the Philippines Visayas [Tacloban College] where she initiated creative writing workshops and intensified her advocacy to encourage the young to write in the native language. While doing her workshops with its specific advocacy, she became sharply aware of the lack of models for the aspiring Waray writer and the literal absence of any reading materials in the language. She has since published a collection of oral narratives entitled Susumaton published by Ateneo de Manila University Press.

Stories

By CESAR RUIZ AQUINO

What I am about to set down consists of three stories which I had originally wanted to write separately. How I came to think of weaving them together is not easy to answer. The first two were stories I had heard almost twenty years ago and could not get around to writing for such an unbelievable length of time. One day I understood that I’d never be able to write them and that perhaps this was the story I could write. I remember the occasion on which the idea occurred to me. I was talking to another literary person, in fact a gifted young girl from Manila well on her way to the writing vocation. I found myself telling her the two stories. I don’t remember having done it before, though I am fairly given to talking about stories I contemplated writing to friends. When I had finished I realized that what held my listener’s interest was not just the stories themselves but me telling them together. “Perhaps I should write them together,” I said with the enthusiasm of one who had faintly but unmistakably struck something. When days passed and the terror of the empty, white paper began to grow on me, when I began to suspect that this new story—the story of a writer and the two stories he could not get around to writing for twenty years—was headed for the same fate, the same limbo, I decided to hurl myself into the wilderness. In the confusion I involuntarily recovered two memories—one resplendent and the other shameful. I also tied in the third, which is the longest and of which I do not have to speak at this point.

Back in 1972, when I taught at Silliman for the first time, I formed a companionship with four other young men with whom I had nothing in common but an addiction: chess. The friendship was so close we were soon addicted not only to the game but to being together. For days on end, when there would be a string of holidays, we would eat, sleep, talk, play chess, gallivant, do evil things together. Chess is more often than not the passion of a lonely man. In our case, the loneliness became collective, if such a thing can be conceived—we were a pack of lone wolves. Martial law, imposed by Marcos late that year, abetted it, as did the success of the solipsistic Bobby Fischer.

I’ll heartlessly cut myself short on this part of my life to which belongs some of my fondest memories, since my business is only to relate where and how I got the two stories mentioned above. I heard them from two of my friends, on those nights when not even the fatigue of playing chess all day could relieve the torment of our own sap and we would spend the night talking about all sorts of things until dawn. The first came from Nestor Rimando and happened in Davao where he came from and where he is back. In the almost twenty years since our time in Dumaguete I have seen him again only twice— once in Manila and once when he visited Dumaguete in 1987. The second was told by Odelon Ontal, who lives until now in Dumaguete and who has forgotten his story. Both have married and have children; I have remained a bachelor, grown adept at gentle ways of coping with, in the phrase of Erwin Castillo, the terror of being unloved.

Rimando’s story can be sketched in a paragraph. In Davao in either the late sixties or early seventies (Rimando was not specific) a madwoman slept her nights at the market, where the tables in the meat section provided her with a bed. Let us assign her the age of twenty-eight and long, lice-infested hair. You have seen her, grimy, reposing on the pavement like an obscene bat, her eyes somehow never meeting yours. You never hear her voice either, even when she laughs and you wonder who knocked her teeth down. One day you see her with a swollen belly and although it comes as a shock you don’t find yourself wondering very long who the father is. Not even the coming baby mitigates her status as a nightmare, without substance. In Rimando’s story she gives birth to her child towards daybreak. The market vendors who had come early saw her deflated belly but were baffled that the child could not be found. Suddenly their minds froze, struck by lightning. They had not understood the blood on the table where she had slept and now they looked with horror at the dog sitting not far from where she was.

As in Rimando’s case, Ontal had not actually witnessed the story he told us and which, as I’ve said, he has forgotten. A very young couple—the husband about fifteen and the wife fourteen or thirteen—had come to Dumaguete for the husband who was sick to be confined and treated in a hospital. They came with ample money, but one somehow got the impression that it represented all their possession. They took a common room, which explains how their story came to be known.

On the first day of his confinement, a group of young girls, probably students from Silliman dropping in to visit another patient in the room, find themselves flocking around the boy-husband from the barrio. It is not hard to understand why they instantly take to him. They like his rustic ways; they are astonished, themselves not much older than he, to find one so young—just a little boy really—already married; they feel protective, motherly. Perhaps, too, the boy is dying. Let us call him Kip. It is five in the afternoon and Kip, waiting for his wife Moning to come back, has brightened up only too visibly. One or two of the girls are pretty. And Kip’s happiness, in turn, has set loose even in the shyer ones the floodgates of a hitherto unsuspected sweetness. It is in the midst of this that Moning comes back with a friend she has just acquired, a girl of eight, and the things they bought at the market. There is an awkwardness but Kip’s friends do not feel uncomfortable. They look at her with great interest and find her shyness just as poignant, except that of course she is not the patient and, moreover, they have to go. Moning goes out of the room soon after they do to see her little friend—who keeps throwing looks at Kip—to the gate. She does not return—neither in the evening as Kip keeps hoping she will, nor the next day, nor the day after the next until it is afternoon. Kip runs a whole spectrum of feelings—all shades of grey and black. First alarm, then anger, worry, fear, bewilderment, oppression, fury, pain. To assuage the torment, he imagines himself dead and the thought of Moning crazed with grief strangely revives his appetite to eat. It is an exaggeration to say that he ages in three days, but at certain moments we see a grown-up quality or manner that we failed to notice earlier, even when he’s not doing anything, propped up and stockstill, pensive in his bed. When Moning finally comes back, the joy he feels is outweighed, outwardly, by the need to express his outrage and maintain a touching dignity. He weeps at last and says, in a quiet voice, “Ako pay mamatay, ako pay ingnon mi!” (Roughly, “I’m the one who’s going to die and I’m the one who’s treated this way!”) Moning, eyes downcast, wants to hold and press his hand but his spare reproach totally wilts her.

These were the two stories. When I first pondered Rimando’s story, I conceived of the following idea: The story would be seen through a third-person point of view. This person is gradually revealed to be the father of the baby, and the revelation will be subtle, almost just hinted, but clear towards the end. I’m glad this didn’t materialize. It seems to promise bathos.

My present attitude indicates that I wish to preserve the story’s gruesome quality. Despite the ironclad objection: what for should one write a merely cruel story? There are hundreds of other such incidents, dizzying in their fiendishness, that have happened and can happen on this planet. Even in the realm of fact, the number of such cases may well approach the infinite. Thus the absurdity of a news item with such a subject in which the reporter pretends to be moved by the uncanny. And yet I remain infatuated with Rimando’s story as is—raw, uninvented, fact. Why?

Once in life I woke in the wee hours of the morning and heard from somewhere a baby’s cooing and laughter and knew it to be the most beautiful sound on earth or in heaven. Many years later I took to asking girls I liked what they thought was the loveliest sound they’d ever heard. A bird’s chirping was usually the answer. At other times, the sound of surf. Or early morning rain that made them linger in bed. There were others I’ve forgotten. Only one, if memory is not fooling, got it right—Emy.

How could a baby deserve either such a grisly end or such a loathsome origin as had the one in Rimando’s story? What possible virtue is there in telling of how it was so literally wiped out the moment it was born?

Ontal’s story, too, is disturbingly open-ended. Even if its tenderness tends to counterpoint, to allay the ferocity of the other. Ontal said no one seemed to know what happened afterwards when the young couple had gone back to the barrio where they came from. This open-endedness—Kip’s possible death—hovers over the story with the same menace that the woman’s madness, the unknown father’s lust, and the dog’s appetite in Rimando’s story hold for us. Here too my baby gurgles amid demons. Is this therefore why the two stories had been thrown into my hands—not by accident but because to me had been delivered the task of seeing them as connected? If Kip dies, the two tell the same story—Kip is the baby who is devoured by a dog—and I brood on the evil that unites them; Ontal didn’t have to tell his. If Kip lives, the two stories exclude—worse, annihilate—each other; Kip is the baby whose cooing, gurgling laughter work me up one magic, epiphanous night in my life—but Rimando, as well as Ontal, had to tell his. I must find a third.

Unlike Ontal’s and Rimando’s, it is a story I have seen. In fact, it is a story I alone have seen. For the two people in it—a man and a woman who casually crossed my path quite recently (only late last year) never met, neither one knew the other existed. Moreover, one is mad and the other dead. I believe their fates conjoined, and that it was I who brought this conjunction about—or rather my old, black jacket. It seems like a delirium and perhaps it is. Before getting round to it, I add a few necessary details about myself. I am forty-three, I teach part-time in Silliman. I live with a maid and my two parents. My mother has had a stroke and asthma has wrought on my father an almost equal devastation.

One afternoon I woke from a nap hearing some rock group on the cassette tape recorder and slowly making out the voices that drifted to my room. They were those of my father and a younger man, a man I didn’t know. The conversation was in Chabacano and my father was talking with more animation than usual. My parents have not lived in Dumaguete as long as I, and at their age do not get to meet too many people any more. Whenever someone happens along who comes from Zamboanga, their spirit is buoyed up, as though old times had returned. I tarried in bed for a while more, unable to help from eavesdropping. I gathered that the visitor had come in to fix the tape recorder, that his name was William, that he was an ex-soldier, that he (rather vaguely) was a CAFGU, that he worked as radio technician and operator at the military headquarters in Agan-an. I couldn’t avoid meeting his stare at once when I opened the door, they were sitting right-across from my room and he was facing my way. He was a slight man who looked as boyish as his voice, but the face, with its high cheekbones, had a menacing quality that impressed me greatly. He had the eyes of a man who lived with evil smells, or who was used to the sight of gore. But perhaps the cold, removed stare came from sheer hard times and I had overlooked it. I dwell on it at length because it was the only time I really looked at his face. He was to be seen in the house often after that, gladly fixing—after the tape recorder—the television set and the walkie-talkie which he had dug up while puttering around the storeroom. He always declined to join us whenever he happened to be around at mealtime, settling instead for a cup of coffee. Sometimes he’d doze off on the bench in the kitchen when, apparently exhausted from staying up late at some gambling place, he’d show up early in the morning. At other times, he’d spend the night at our place, sleeping on the bench which had become his bed. We soon realized, though we never asked him, that he was not living in any particular place—that there probably were other houses where he could sleep from time to time. But once a man who knew us asked me if it was true William was living with us. William had given our place as his address, care of my father who was a retired police major. And indeed he did his laundry at our place and kept some clothes in the storeroom. I do not know if those were all the clothes he had.

William told us he was a widower. He said his wife had died of tuberculosis. At the time he said this I thought it sounded like a good forecast of how he himself was going to die soon. He was very thin and always looked overwrought. He did die soon after, but not as I thought.

His wife left him no child. He said his wife’s parents were from Negros and lived in the nearby town of Valencia, and that his own mother, who was in Zamboanga, originally came from Dumaguete. We believed him. He spoke Chabacano and Cebuano very fluently—both with a rural accent, which astonished my father who is a Zamboangueño and my mother who is a Cebuana—oblivious that, though it’s true it was unusual, so did I, though neither with a rural accent. This will do for William. He is a dead man when I take him up again. Vastly different, we did not become friends. The only form of closeness we had was my lending him small sums which he was too shy to borrow from my parents. He never paid and I never expected him to. Just as we never paid him for fixing the television set and the tape recorder and the walkie-talkie and he never, I’m sure, expected us to.

For certain episodes in the past that we carry through life, memories is an inaccurate word; rather they constitute an ever lingering, bright present, separation or estrangement from which we are forced to admit only by the unappealable decline of our physical bodies. And then we feel as if perhaps we already have died. Others are matters of complete indifference. They could be as recent as a year ago but the faces that beam at us on a chance re-encounter are veritable abysses. As are the names.

“Ester Lim?”

“She says you were together in some writers conference in Manila.”

“Is she going to be in the program?”

“She’s just passing by. She’s on her way to Manila. She was looking for Marj.”

“If she didn’t know Marj is the Manila, she may have been just checking her out, too, from way back when.”

“Yes, that seems to be it. When I told her Marj is in Manila she appeared very excited and took her address. And then she sounded like she was going to Manila just to see her.”

“I’ll get back to the office. They might be there.”

“Lina was giving her directions to your house. She’s probably there now. That was almost two hours ago.”

“Oh. Okay, I’m going home then.”

“You can see that she’s odd, but she’s all right I think. Most people will get a more extreme impression after talking to her. She’s been through some terrible time. She’ll be telling you.”

“I’d have preferred to talk to her somewhere else though.”

“Lina told her to go back to her if it’s no go at your place. I would have taken her in but you know there’s literally no room for her here.”

“It’s going to be difficult. You don’t know my father. He’s a cop. But I know where we can take her to.”

By ten in the evening Ester Lim was out of my hands. I had ample opportunity, that evening, to know just how mad she was.

She was in her late twenties and I wondered why I absolutely couldn’t recall her from the writers seminar that we attended together. At the least, she must have been a pleasant kid to look at, and even now hell, which it was clear she was wobbling in, hadn’t taken away the sparkle from her eyes. She had a vague expression of physical pain on her face that became oddly pronounced when she smiled, which was often. After speaking, she would bend her forehead slightly forward—and somewhat askew—as if swallowing, her eyes not leaving yours and smiling with the queer pain. Perhaps reading my mind she explained that she had inflamed sinuses. I found out that she had stomach spasms besides. My hair almost stood at the way she consumed the entire loaf of sliced bread when I bought her a snack, ignoring the canned fish and the noodles which she ate after. At nine there are no more cheap eating houses open in Dumaguete and I didn’t have much money. Also, I was hoping Mrs. Tan, in whose house she would be staying, would feed her. (It amused me that she was Miss Lim and her hostess was Mrs. Tan. Mrs. Tan was head of some fundamentalist church organization on the campus.)

Ester Lim was going to Manila to seek help over a nephew whom she claimed her brother, the father, physically tortured. She said her nephew wanted her to take him but there was no way she could fight her brother. He had many connections in their place and was able to convince everybody that she was insane. I asked her what exactly it was she wanted done about her nephew. If she wanted custody, I said, she was certain to lose. She said of course that was the sure way to lose, and went into a detailed explanation of her plan which struck me for its legal shrewdness and clarity. I realized later that this lucidity, which must have impressed people she met for the first time, could be seen in a more sinister light. But at the moment I must have been visibly impressed, for her manner assumed a certain preening and soon she was telling me that her fight wouldn’t end with her nephew. She was going to start her crusade against child abuse.

I cleared my throat and told her surely there was some organization in Manila doing that sort of thing and it shouldn’t be too hard for her to find her bearings there after all. This seemed to please her further, but at the same time I couldn’t help feeling she was holding back some tremendously good thing that I was not even beginning to understand. I wasn’t wrong. And I was not kept waiting. She began to tell me about the evil in her place, La Carlota, and my mind involuntarily flitted back to the half-amused, half-bewildered face of my mother earlier in the house when I had gone home and found her with Ester Lim.

“As long as the Beast is loose, the children of the world will suffer.”

Mrs. Tan’s house was in the outskirts of the town and tricycles would go only up to a certain point. There was no moon (missing emblem of madness) but the light from the electric posts made the green grass in the vacant lots all around us visible. Ester Lim continued: “I can’t lose, it’s in the Scripture: And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars….”

She had turned her face to me and it bore the same expression, only more outrageous: it was as if she was looking at me and smiling though her tears. I heard my voice saying, “Don’t say a word of that to Mrs. Tan’s family. They’re very nice people; realize that they are taking you in, a stranger, out of kindness. You’re lucky, but if you tell them that, it could make things unpleasant.” “Why?” she asked. I saw that I was unnecessarily taking a further step in getting mixed up with a lunatic. “Do you really care for your nephew?” I asked. “Yes,” she said. “Then don’t say what you’ve just told me to anyone. Keep it to yourself or else, believe me, you are going to fail. You won’t even survive in Manila.”

“Why?” she asked again, and finally I said, “They’ll think you mad. That’s what happened back in your place. With that story you yourself, not your brother, convinced them you’re mad.” I uttered the word mad casually, to make it sound as if I was very far from believing it.

“I see,” she said thoughtfully, slowing down her steps somewhat. “It’s a real problem.” She seemed to brace herself before going on and then she asked me, “Do you believe what I just told you?”

Crazily polite (allow me some madness of my own), I groped. “I don’t know. Yes and no perhaps. You’re entitled to what you believe is your vocation. But you can’t be literal about these things. Anyway it’s out of my range. It’s a thing between you and God.”

This must have satisfied her for she changed the topic. “You’re right about Mrs. Tan and her family. I never knew such people existed. But that little child of hers—there’s something troubling her. Her eyes look disturbed.”

A horrible thought entered my mind, but I quelled it. “You really didn’t have to trouble yourself too much over me. I just wanted to find out how you are after all these years.” She was rambling, somewhat sprightly all of a sudden. But Ester Lim fired her last shot for the evening and I was not prepared for it.

“I feel cold,” she said. “Please hold me.”

Or perhaps I was. Without a moment’s hesitation, I took off my jacket and gave it to her.

All the repulsion that had been gathering inside me now slapped me like a wind. I knew even then that I wouldn’t be wearing the jacket any more. It was an old black jacket and it seemed to me as though its color, which sometimes made me uneasy, had finally fulfilled itself.

I took measures not to run into Ester Lim by any chance, kept in touch with Mrs. Tan like a fugitive, and helped put together enough money for Ester Lim to get a passage to Manila. Ester Lim did not cause a headache during her two days with Mrs. Tan. But Mrs. Tan’s little daughter wouldn’t go near her. “She’s stranger,” she said the first time she saw Ester Lim.

Not very long after this, our maid told me as I ate a late breakfast that William, who had not shown up for some time, had been in the house early and taken the black jacket which I had put away in the storeroom, leaving her word to tell me that he was borrowing it. My father, who dislikes familiarities of this sort, told me to remind William at once about the jacket if he forgot to bring it back the next time he came. I told him the maid had said he was returning it later in the evening. The old man said he doubted it. When after two weeks William had not returned, he said. “I told you. Now you’re the one without a jacket.” I had others. But he was wondering why I didn’t seem to care much.

“Perhaps he’s with his in-laws in Valencia,” my mother said.

The weeks went by and we forgot about William. One morning my father very casually told me, as I prepared to go out, to find out about William who had been stabbed to death, at the Eterna, the funeral parlor whose owner we knew. “When?” I asked, sounding just as subdued. “I don’t know—find out.”

I went to the funeral parlor in the afternoon. Chit, the owner’s wife whom I knew from way back in the early seventies, was there. I went to it at once: “Did you have a stabbing victim recently?” She turned on an expression that became more and more quizzical as I gave details. “The name is William Angeles. He was stabbed at the cockpit. He was from Zamboanga. A soldier….” At this she suddenly remembered. “That was last week!” And then we went into an incoherent exchange.

“Why?”

“Nothing. I happened to know him. Who stabbed him?”

“He may have left the hospital already.”

“What? You mean he’s alive?”

“Yes, his wound was not serious.”

“But I thought he was brought here?”

“No, I mean the man who stabbed your friend.”

William was able to pull out his gun and shoot back. I gathered from another person later—the man who once asked if William was living with us—that William was jumped by his assailant as he entered the cockpit and was reeling from several stabs when he pulled out his gun and fired.

He hadn’t seen the incident. Chit had seen the body when it was brought to the funeral parlor. I asked her, inevitably:

“Was he wearing a black jacket?”

She looked, I thought, startled. “Why, yes!”

William had been buried in Valencia. For us there remained the problem of what to do with his clothes. Mother had said, “They must be made to pay! The poor boy! He was with us!” Her outrage was sudden and brief but it moved me— though I remained indifferent to William’s death. As I burned the clothes I wondered why she spoke of William’s murderer in the plural.

Now I understand better the look in his eyes the first time I saw him. They were the eyes of a man who had seen his own gore.

It was he who had copulated with the madwoman in Rimando’s story. But his murder had made him the baby, made him Kip. William’s killer was as much an instrument as the knife with which William was slaughtered—and redeemed. The force came from Ester Lim who, with equal mystery, had without her knowing it fulfilled her hallucination—that she was the dazzling woman promised in Revelation, who shall crush the Beast by giving birth to her child. Of course, William is dead and Ester Lim repeats, God knows in what foul hole in Manila, the cycle of the madwoman. To me, who haven’t cared, is allotted the notion that the madwoman’s child had been engendered and obliterated so I could be forty-three, so I could use the word “resplendent,” so I could love Emy.

“I’m sorry about the jacket.”

I am almost unable to finish saying this, hearing William saying it too at the same time.

We meant differently. He was apologizing for not being able to return the jacket, or for having taken it without my knowledge, or because it now bore two or three holes. I was sorry I had not been able to warn him that it was fatal. I looked at his face in the dusk and felt relieved that he did not seem to bear the funeral parlor’s grooming and cosmetics. But I also felt his inconsolable sadness. “It was lovelessness. You were spared because you were less loveless than I.” I realized with a chill that William and I had certain resemblances. “Did it ever occur to you that your parents have felt the terror of your life? That you are Kip whose haplessness saddens them more than their infirmities? They’d have wished that you drifted less and fathered a child—a gift that could make them gentler with their slow annihilation. No matter. The memory of the baby’s laughter has served you well. Even Rimando’s story has served you well, for though you wanted to exploit its horrible aspect, you’ve been unable to write it. Love has served you well. It served you well when Emy could not love you. It served you well when you recoiled from Ester Lim, from me. It would not have abandoned you if you had gone and consummated your urge for the laundrywoman, old and ugly, with whom you found yourself alone one night when you were a much younger man, fighting the strange tide that drew you to her as the dog had been drawn to the messy, blood-covered thing in Rimando’s story—if you had been the baby’s father which, in a way, you are. Perhaps it’s not me but you. Or why should you let a dead man—moreover, an unlettered one—speak your final words?”

Cesar Ruiz Aquino was born in Zamboanga City, and has a Ph.D. in Literature from Silliman University. He writes both poetry and prose for which he has won virtually all the national awards in the Philippines and one international – the SEA Write Award from the royal family of Thailand in 2004. His books include the short story collection Chronicles of Suspicion, the poetry collections Word Without End, In Samarkand, Caesuras: 155 New Poems, Like a Shadow That Only Fits a Figure of Which It is Not the Shadow, and Fire If It Were Ice, Ice If It Were Fire, and the personal anthology Checkmeta: The Cesar Ruiz Aquino Reader. He lives in Dumaguete City.

Excerpt from In My Father’s House

By ELSA MARTINEZ COSCOLLUELA

CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Carlos Santamaria is about  65  years old with strong facial features and graying hair. A man of a few words, he exudes an air of quiet authority, and although he moves about with the help of a walking  stick, soundlessly dragging  a bad foot which  has been partially paralyzed by a stroke, he has retained an aura  of  strength about him. 

Amanda is about 60 years old.  She is one woman who has grown to maturity with grace and refinement. 

Miguel, the eldest son, is about 35 years old. A practising lawyer, he is reserved, quiet and thoughtful and speaks with deliberation. He gives the impression of a man  who would pursue an ideal even against all odds. 

Isabel, Miguel’s wife, is about 33 years old. She is gentle, affectionate and amiable, obviously convent-bred. As a  wife she  regards her husband as the head of the family,  the decision-maker,  and is quite content with her role as a dutiful wife and mother. 

Franco is about 33 years old and is more gregarious than his older brother. He is open  and  aggressive, frank  and pragmatic, and his manner suggests that he can be obstinate. As the politician in the family he recognizes the  need  to reach  practical  decisions in contrast to Miguel who is  an idealist. 

Cristy,  wife  of  Franco, is 27 years old. She  is  self-confident, knowledgeable, independent and outspoken, yet  she is   also  sensitive  and  intuitive. There is a sharp distinction between her personality and that of Isabel’s, for whereas Isabel is reticent and  submissive, Cristy has realized  herself as a woman well ahead of her times, having been brought up by American professors at the University. 

Benito, the family bookkeeper and Man Friday, is about  the same age as the two brothers. He is quiet and  unobtrusive, loyal and dependable.
SETTING 

The  scene shows a typical old house built along the lines of Spanish  architecture as modified in the Philippine setting. Upstage, at stage center is an arch revealing further back a foyer. At left of foyer is the main door. Opposite this door is a foyer table on top of which  are  found  several antique figures of saints in various stages of dismemberment. Above the table is a looking glass hanging on the wall.  The arch  leads  to the stage proper.  On the walls to  left  and right of the arch are square windows with capiz shell frames. At stage right is a sala set made of lightly carved  hardwood and  wicker  comprising of a settee, two single chairs,  a  coffee table and a rocking chair. A gaily trimmed Christmas tree stands at far right corner.  On the wings at stage right are two doors which lead  to the bedrooms. At stage left is an oval dining table for six. Against the wall and under the window  is a long narrow buffet table  on which are found  a table clock and a constabulary hat. On the wings  at  stage left  is a door which leads to the kitchen and service  area. A lamp hangs from the ceiling.
ACT 1 / SCENE 2 

Date:  June 16, 1942
Time:  8:00 P.M.
Place:  Santamaria Home

At rise, Benito  and Emilio  are  in  the living room, closing the shutters. It is raining outside, and the wind is howling. Benito sets a tray of coffee and coffee cups on the table.

BENITO

Emilio, you better finish up.

EMILIO

I’ll be through in a minute.

BENITO

Did you take out the plants in the master’s bedroom?

EMILIO

Yes, I did.  Benito, do you know that Ma’am Isabel was crying this afternoon?

BENITO

Crying?  Why?

EMILIO

I’m not sure, but I think it’s because she’s afraid Sir Miguel might join the guerillas.

BENITO

What makes you think that?

EMILIO

Oh, I should know.  I overheard them.

BENITO

(In a reprimanding tone)  Emilio, I know that  Senorito Miguel  is almost like a father to you, taking  you  in and sending you to school when your own parents died  a a  year  ago.  But you should show  some  respect.  You shouldn’t eavesdrop on private conversations.

EMILIO

(Mischievously) Look who’s talking. Benito, I swear you eavesdrop on everyone in the family.  Why, I’m sure you know everything that goes on in this house.

BENITO

(Slightly offended) The family trusts me—and that is because I know my place.  So, if you intend to remain a ward of this family, I advise you to know your place—and stop this business of listening in on everyone. It’s impolite, you know.

EMILIO

Oh,  I know my place alright.  And you know where  that is?   With Sir Miguel—when he joins  the guerillas. I’m  going to learn how to shoot and then I’ll kill so           many  Japs they’ll wish they never set foot here.

BENITO

You  don’t even know how to load a gun, much  less  aim it.

EMILIO

That’s what you think.

BENITO

You haven’t been fooling around with Senor’s gun,  have you?   If the Japanese know we have some  weapons  here we’ll all end up dead in the plaza.

EMILIO

You’re not talking to a small kid, you know.

BENITO

Alright, young man.  Take those plants out.

EMILIO

(With a mock salute)  Yes, Sir.  Right away, Sir.

(Carlos enters. He surveys the room, then sits on his rocking chair. He draws his cardigan about him.  He is followed by Amanda, also wrapped in a heavy shawl)

AMANDA

It’s cold in here. Is coffee ready, Benito?

BENITO

Yes, Senora.  Is there any thing else you need?

AMANDA

No, this is fine.  Go have your dinner now, Benito.

CARLOS

And bolt all the doors.

(Benito  nods, exits through the kitchen.   Miguel  and Isabel  enter  from the bedroom, joins  Amanda  at  the table.  Amada presides over coffee)

AMANDA

I  hope this  is still good—it’s  the  third  brew. (Isabel brings a cup to Carlos)

CARLOS

Thank you, Isa.  (Sipping)  It’s  still good, Amanda.

AMANDA

Oh, you’re just getting used to weak coffee.

MIGUEL

It’s better than nothing.

(Franco enters, dragging his bad leg. He is followed by Cristy, who carries a medicine basket.  He sits on  one of  the  single chairs, stretching out his  leg,  while Cristy  sits  on  the floor beside  him,  dressing  his wound)

AMANDA

How is your leg, Franco?

FRANCO

Almost as good as new.

CRISTY

It’s healing well enough.

AMANDA

(To  Miguel)   Who were those men you were  talking  to this morning, Miguel?

MIGUEL

(Trying to sound casual)  Oh, some people from my unit.

AMANDA

What did they want?

MIGUEL

(Indifferently)  Oh, nothing important.

CARLOS

You better be careful with whom you are seen. You  have surrendered.  You  very  well know you  are  all  under surveillance,  Miguel.   Be careful you do  nothing  to arouse suspicion, or you’ll end up  in  Channon Hall.

ISABEL

They say many of those who have been taken there have not been seen alive again. Is that true? They say they are burying people behind Channon Hall at night. 

CRISTY

It’s hard to believe they would turn that building into a torture chamber. One of my closest friends used to live there, you know. You remember Sarah Thorndike, Isa?  She also teaches literature.

ISABEL

The blonde?  Yes.

CRISTY

(Nodding)  And the spectacles.

ISABEL

Lovely girl.

MIGUEL

The  campus does not look the same.  That was the first thing   that  caught  my  eye  the  moment  we   docked the  other day. A troop of Jap soldiers marched out  of the portals to take us in.  It seemed bizarre.

CRISTY

Now  it’s crawling with those villains.  And  to  think that  just  last  March  the  campus  housed  President Quezon,  Vice  President  Osmena,  and  their  military escorts  for a few days.  Little did we know  that  the President  was then being evacuated from  the  country. When  news  of  the President’s  presence  reached  the American  professors,  they all came  down  from  their to see him and ask him about the  war. 

ISABEL

We even heard that General MacArthur himself was  here. You can just imagine our excitement.

CARLOS

We were told that aid was forthcoming.  We believed it.

AMANDA

We could hardly believe our eyes when a few weeks later, two Japanese transports anchored at the pier.

CARLOS

One  of  the  first  things they  did  was  to  declare Silliman University a property of the Japanese Imperial Government, and proceeded to set up their  headquarters at Guy Hall.

CRISTY

They made  the dormitories their barracks, and  Channon Hall the headquarters of the Kempetai.

ISABEL

I  happened to be here on a visit when they  came.   We were  terrified.  I couldn’t go back to Santa  Catalina because  they wouldn’t allow anyone to leave the  city. We all had to register ourselves at their headquarters.

CARLOS

You should  have seen them strut  around  like little conquerors.  They summoned the governor and  mayor  and urged  them to  continue in office. For many  days Governor Villaluna  reported  each  morning to the Japanese headquarters. Then one day he   just disappeared. Benito later heard that he and his family had fled to Guihulngan—he was probably afraid  for his three daughters.

ISABEL

They say the Japanese soldiers are raping women.

CARLOS

Then  they  called  on the other officials, recruiting them  to  form  their  government,  but  many  of  them declined, as I did when they called on me.

ISABEL

Nobody wants to have anything to  do with them.

FRANCO

They’ve  had  much  success  with  the  Manila  people. Vargas,  Roxas,  Laurel, Recto, Aquino—the  list is endless.

CRISTY

Well, I suppose some people have to hold the reigns  of government.

ISABEL

This is dreadful!  What is going to happen now?

CARLOS

We don’t have much  choice except to conduct  ourselves in  a  manner that would allow us to survive.   It’s  a waiting game now.

AMANDA

You mean there is absolutely nothing we can do?

CRISTY

Oh,  it’s just  a matter of time, Mother.   The  United States will liberate the Philippines.  I have no  doubt about that at all.

ISABEL

The city is crawling with Japanese patrols.  You can’t even  visit sick relatives without getting a pass  from the  High Command, if it is at all possible  to  secure one.  And those drills!  It’s driving everyone crazy!

CARLOS

The  best thing is to stay in and not get  in  anyone’s way.

AMANDA

Oh,  you say that so easily.  But how  is  it  possible when  everywhere  you turn you  see  Japanese  soldiers watching your every move?  Sometimes I look out of  the window  at  night and I see their shadows down  at  the corner, watching this house.

MIGUEL

We are all under surveillance.

AMANDA

I can feel them watching us night and day.  I sometimes wake  up wondering  when they would  just arrest us for one reason or another and lock us  up like some of  the others.  It is terrible.  Mrs. Avena told me they  took her  son yesterday for interrogation.  No one has  seen him again!

CARLOS

Didn’t she inquire at the Japanese headquarters?

AMANDA

How could she?  She suspects they have killed him,  and she is scared to death.

ISABEL

Rafael?   Rafael Avena?  He  was in your  unit,  wasn’t he, Mig?

MIGUEL

Yes, he was.

ISABEL

But he surrendered just like the rest of you.  Why  did they take him?

MIGUEL

I don’t know. It could be for sundry reasons. Like violating curfew, for instance.

ISABEL

I tell you the Kempetai is killing people.   Everyone’s whispering  about it. 

AMANDA

And there’s nothing we can do, nothing at all.   (After a pause)  I wonder—I wonder how Carlito is—

CARLOS

Oh,  he’ll be released in due time.  Miguel and  Franco are back. Carlito will be home before we know it.

AMANDA

But why  hasn’t he been released yet?  It’s been  weeks since  we’ve  lost  the war.  You  are  back  but  your brother is still out there.

MIGUEL

(Matter-of-factly) The Luzon Forces that  surrendered in  Bataan and Corregidor, were taken prisoners of  war and  detained at Camp O’Donnell.  We did not  catch  up with  them, otherwise  we would  have ended  up at Camp O’Donnell too. 

FRANCO

(Thinking aloud)  We were lucky we did not get to Luzon until March.

CRISTY

But you left here New Year’s Day!

FRANCO

Yes,  but  in Cebu we underwent a week’s  training.  We were  divided into several companies, each leaving  for Luzon  on  different days. We reached Batangas on  the second week of March. By then the situation in  Bataan had  turned critical.   When General Wainwright surrendered, we decided to just turn back. We  knew somehow it was coming.

AMANDA

(Worried) You did not get any word at all about Carlito?

MIGUEL

Just unofficial news that they would be released in due time.

AMANDA

I don’t really know if I should believe that or  not. I’m  afraid  that if I believed it completely,  and  it doesn’t happen—

FRANCO

(With conviction)  But it will, Mother. Carlito will be home. What  would  the Japanese  do  with  all  those prisoners of war?  At the moment they are quite  intent upon  establishing  a  better  relationship  with   our people. Surely  they know that one way  to  gain  our sympathy would be to send our soldiers home. 

AMANDA

(With  deep anguish) But what if something happened  to him?  How would we know?

CARLOS

Remember  this, Amanda.  Our boy is alive, and he  will come home alive.

AMANDA

(Responding, as if waiting only for this assurance) You are such a good man, Carlos, to keep telling me  that. And I need you to tell me that all the time, each  time a  dark thought crosses my mind.  God knows there  have been many such thoughts gnawing at my sanity ever since Wainwright surrendered.

MIGUEL

(Thinking  aloud) I did not seriously believe it  would come to that. 

CRISTY

Neither did I.

FRANCO

(Annoyed)  You think he shouldn’t have surrendered?

MIGUEL

I don’t know.  Perhaps not. 

FRANCO

I  don’t think  the man had any choice.  It was  not  a matter of choice.

MIGUEL

It was a matter of choice.

FRANCO

(Agitated)   If you were in his shoes, would  you  have acted differently?  Is that what you mean?

MIGUEL

Perhaps.

FRANCO

(Pressing) You  would have sat it out in  Bataan  and Corregidor despite the fact that you had a  starving, sick, demoralized and unequipped army?

MIGUEL

(Irritated)  I do not know.

FRANCO

(Beginning  to  be  angry)   Then  look  at  it  as   a hypothetical question, Professor!  Assume for a  moment that  you were in Wainwright’s shoes.  What  would  you have  done?  Would you have ordered your men to sit  on their  haunches in those godforsaken foxholes and  wait for  the  bombs  to  blast  your  entire  army  out  of existence?   Or would you, like a wounded bull,  gather your  last breath for a final charge with  nothing  but your bare breasts and bravura?

MIGUEL

(Raising  his voice, exasperated)  I do not  know  what you  are  quibbling about!  I only said  I  thought  we should not have given up so easily!

FRANCO

(Outraged)   Given up so easily?  What the hell do you mean, so easily?

AMANDA

(Interrupting)   Now you stop this, both of  you!   You haven’t  done anything but get on each  other’s  nerves since  you came back.  If you  cannot  talk about  this stupid   war   without  shouting  then  do   not   talk about it!

CARLOS

Now,  Amanda, let them talk.  How would they  know  how the other feels about this if they didn’t talk?

AMANDA

(Shouting)   They aren’t talking, they’re shouting!

CARLOS

Alright, boys, your mother doesn’t want any shouting.

MIGUEL

Oh, forget it.

FRANCO

(Insistent, as though pursuing a quarry) No, I want  to talk  about it.  I want to talk this through  once  and for  all!  The trouble with you is you always sit  back in judgment like some kind of god!

MIGUEL

What did I say to cause such a fit?

FRANCO

(Slowly  and carefully) It insults me when you  say  we gave up so easily.

MIGUEL

All  I  meant was I felt  that  Wainwright  surrendered because at that moment it might have seemed  expedient, but  in the long run it might not have been  the  right thing to do.

FRANCO

(Caustic) You  insinuate  that  it would  have  been morally  right to go on fighting only to die, that  all those  men out there did only what was expedient? Oh, come  on, we were both there!  Was any of it easy?   We were  up  against  a  vastly  superior  enemy! Their artillery was backed up by dive bombers with  tons  of explosives  falling upon us while we scoured the  hills like  rats: hungry,  footsore, practically  unarmed! Line by line I saw our men just drop from  exhaustion. So  maybe  you had an easier time out there,  but  that doesn’t  mean you can go around thinking everyone  else had  it as easy as you did, that it was  therefore,  to your mind, sheer cowardice for anyone to surrender! 

MIGUEL

(Stung) Just because you got wounded in the  leg  you think you had the worst of it.  (A keen, savage thrust) Shit,  you  wear  your wound like it were  a  medal  of honor!

FRANCO

(Getting  up, with sudden harshness)  As indeed it  is! Jesus,  there you are, thinking there wouldn’t  be  any Jap  for miles around, suddenly the skies spit out  its bowels,  all you see are blinding stars  falling,  then nothing.  Just darkness.  A cold, dull, empty darkness, then  piece  by  piece you begin to  see  it:   mangled bodies, human flesh, limbs dangling from trees and  you           know where everybody’s gone!  Jesus, it makes me sick!

CRISTY

(In a low, grieving voice she reaches out to him, holds him  as he slowly sinks back into his chair)  We  never knew!

FRANCO

(In a dead, dull voice)  It wasn’t easy.

AMANDA

(With sudden tenderness)  We never knew. You never told us.

FRANCO

(Shaking  his  head, repeating  tonelessly)  It  wasn’t easy.

MIGUEL

(Slowly, with remorse)  I didn’t mean it that way.

ISABEL

(To  Miguel,  in a  despairing cry)   Please  stop  it. Please stop.

FRANCO

(Sadly  and  bitterly at first, then building  up  with savage  intensity)  They kept leading us on telling  us ammunitions  and  reinforcements were on the way as I imagine  they kept telling all those poor  bastards  in Bataan  that  Uncle Sam was on his way. Jesus, Uncle Sam! Well, the Japs were right there cutting our heads off and where was Uncle Sam? To America, this country is just an expendable pawn in its global strategy. A useful outpost  in  the  Pacific, but  by  no  means unexpendable. How  else could you  explain  America’s apparent indifference?  How would you explain the  fact that  even  before this war was  lost,  they  evacuated Quezon to Washington? Or that MacArthur  had  been recalled to Australia?

MIGUEL

(Emphatically) MacArthur’s  withdrawal   from   this country  does not signify that we are being  abandoned. On  the contrary, he is there to reorganize the  allied forces  in  preparation  for  the  liberation  of  this country.

FRANCO

(In   a  mocking,  ironic  tone)   Would  you  consider liberating  a  country  that  was  not  yet,  at   that time, already given up as lost?

MIGUEL

I   can  see  your point.  But to me it  is  just  like losing a skirmish to win the war.  I believe  MacArthur will return with a force strong enough to liberate  not only  the Philippines but the rest of the Pacific. As for  the evacuation of Quezon to Washington,  no  other move could have been as judicious as it was necessary.

FRANCO

How so?  It could only mean that even at that time  the Americans deemed the Philippine campaign already lost.

MIGUEL

It is imperative that the President of the Commonwealth should not fall into enemy hands.  Even with the defeat of  the  military forces  the  Commonwealth  government remains free.

FRANCO

What  does that matter now? The Japs have  organized  a government, and this government, whether we like it  or not, rules.

MIGUEL

But  don’t  you see? For as long  as  the  Commonwealth government  exists, albeit in exile, the occupation  of  this country does not have the same significance  under international  law  as if the government  had  actually been captured, or surrendered.  As long as this is  so, there  is  always the hope that this  country  will  be liberated.

FRANCO

(Exasperated) Jesus, how can you hold on to an  empty hope?   Despite  Roosevelt’s  public  declarations   of immediate  assistance,  there has been  no  attempt  to transport  aid to this country.  Our troops  languished in  Bataan  and  Corregidor,  but  did  America   care? America  is  perfectly safe and worlds  away  from  the battlegrounds. Besides,  saving  Europe   from   the clutches of Hitler seems infinitely more profitable, or  so  it would seem.  Obviously, we are left to  our  own resources.

MIGUEL

(With conscious superiority)  I cannot imagine how  you can deem the circumstances entirely hopeless.  We  have suffered  a  major setback, but this is by no  means  a total victory for Japan.

FRANCO

(Tauntingly)   I  see  that  Major  Anselo’s  ideas  of organizing  an  underground  resistance  movement   has caught fire with you.  The idea is well-intentioned,  I am sure, but in my opinion, misconceived.  And what  do you intend to call yourselves?  The Bolo Brigade?

MIGUEL

(Smarting) For as long as there are men who believe  in freedom,  there will be resistance and for as  long  as there is resistance, this war is not lost.

FRANCO

(Shortly) But the war is lost! You deceive yourself not to  believe  that to resist Japanese  rule  is  utterly impractical! It is futile to go on fighting a one-sided battle.  It is inhuman to forge the fight further  when doing  so  results only  in mass murder  and  senseless carnage.  This is one time when surrender is the better part  of valor, because there is no hope of  relief  in sight.

MIGUEL

(With  fierce determination, almost quixotic)  Whatever  this resistance might ultimately cost us—the lives, the  suffering, cruel as they might  be—all   these would be infinitely less painful  than enslavement  and economic  oppression. Despite  Homma’s declarations of  noble intent, Japan will bleed us dry or starve  us yet to sustain itself. Look at Manchuria!  Japan pumps its  oil  wells dry, a sheer case  of  power  politics, economic exploitation, and self interest.

FRANCO

(Sarcastically)  While America saves the world?

MIGUEL

Should that be necessary, yes!

FRANCO

(Savagely)  To hell with America!

MIGUEL

(With superior dignity) Christ, this whole conversation is ridiculous!

FRANCO

(With a contemptuous sneer) Nothing is more  ridiculous than your infantile faith and your blind bravura!

AMANDA

(Unable to bear it any longer, furiously) Stop it, stop it,  both of you!  You carry on like little boys! The way you talk I would not believe you fought on the same side.

MIGUEL

(Giving up)  This is absurd!  I’m going to bed. (He turns and leaves through stage right)

ISABEL

(Following  him, apologetic)  He’s—he’s very  tired. I hope you understand.  Excuse me.

CARLOS

Boys will be boys.

AMANDA

(Clearing the cups from the table, tired)  I don’t want any more talk about this.  This upsets me more than any of you can imagine.  (As she goes towards the  kitchen door  she stops, listens to the sound of boots  on  the staircase.  She turns to the others, alerting them)

CARLOS

It’s just the night patrol.

AMANDA

(In  a whisper, afraid)  They’re stopping. Dear God, I think they’re coming in!

FRANCO

Keep  calm.  (There is a knock at the door.)  I’ll  get it.  (He opens the door)  Captain?

HARODA

(Taking  a step forward, slightly bowing his head. He is  in his mid-thirties, refined and obviously  highly educated)  Good evening.  May I come in?

FRANCO 

(Apprehensive)  This way, please.

HARODA

(To his men outside)  You will wait for me.  (Entering, he bows politely at the ladies)  Good evening.  I  hope I am not intruding?

CARLOS

(Without  emotion)  Not at all, Captain.  Do sit  down. (Haroda  takes  a seat)  To what do I owe  this  honor, Captain?

HARODA

(With formal politeness)  No cause for  alarm, Sir.

CARLOS

I am glad to hear that.

AMANDA

(With  forced  cordiality) Coffee, Captain?

HARODA

You  are very kind, but no, thank you.  (Amanda  exits, making  a  sign to Cristy to do the  same, but  Cristy ignores  it.  He takes some papers  from  his  pocket, glancing at some notes casually)  I came to invite your son here to be the governor of this province.

CARLOS

(Looking  at  Franco)  My son has not  been  active  in politics  these  past  couple of years.   If  you  mean Franco.

HARODA

Yes,  Franco. Your  other  son  is  the  lawyer, the professor at the American university?

CARLOS

Yes.

HARODA

And one more son, a student of medicine?

CARLOS

A prisoner of war, Captain, at Camp O’Donnell.

HARODA

I’m sorry to hear that.  (To Franco) You  were  the mayor of this city three years ago?

FRANCO

(Guardedly)  That’s right.

HARODA

(Glancing  at  his  notes)  Yes,  right. You  were  a candidate for governor in the last elections?

FRANCO

(Sustaining a cordial tone with great effort) I lost my bid, as I am sure your dossier indicates.

HARODA

(Ignoring the remark) The Japanese Imperial  Government has  no intention of ruling this country.  We are  here only   to   emancipate  your  country from American imperialism. We are therefore helping you establish a government  responsive to your Asian identity and  your Filipino  needs. We  need  men  of  your  status  and credentials to run this government.

FRANCO

I’m afraid I am not the man you need.

HARODA

You   do  not  wish  to  participate  in  creating   an independent Philippines?  It is every patriot’s duty.

FRANCO

We  are  under the protection of the United  States  of America.   We are to be granted our independence  in  a few years’ time.  America is our ally.

HARODA

America is your enemy.  Japan is your ally.

FRANCO

(Shortly)  That, Captain, is a matter of opinion.

HARODA

Do you trust America?

FRANCO

(Despite himself)  Without question.

HARODA

What protection has America given your country?

FRANCO

(In a tight voice)  The blood of America is  upon  our soil.

HARODA

(With some wry humor, an effort to break the ice) Then God bless America.  You see, I have nothing  against America.  I was educated there.

CRISTY

(Curiously)  Oh?

HARODA

Yes, at MIT.  I spent four years there. An  excellent institution.

CRISTY

(Inquisitive) I hope you will not be offended  by  my curiosity,  Captain. But do you really think Japan’s presence here is right?

HARODA

It is Japan’s mission to liberate Asia.

CRISTY

But is it right that Japan should come to that decision unilaterally?

HARODA

I am a soldier of the Japanese Imperial Forces. It is not my prerogative to  question my government’s political policies.

CRISTY

(Sensing an advantage) But you’ve lived in a democratic country for years.  Surely  you  understand the American position as regards the Philippines?

HARODA

I have seen how it operates, yes.  But I am a soldier of the Japanese Imperial Government. (To Franco) As I was saying, Japan wishes to see a free government established in this country. When this  government becomes stable, Japan will grant it total autonomy.  We need men of your caliber to head it here.

FRANCO

There are others better suited for the job.

HARODA

We believe you are the man for the job. Your father here was the  governor for  many  years,  before  his election to the National Assembly, which he served for many terms before, ah— (he scans his notes)

CARLOS

My stroke.

HARODA 

Yes, right.  (To Franco) And you followed in his footsteps.  Your family has a strong political base. You have followers, sympathizers, people who await only your word.  You are the man for the job.

FRANCO

I do not want the job, Captain.

HARODA

(Leans back, eyes him keenly) I am sorry to hear that. But I ask you to think about it.  We will talk about this again.

FRANCO

I’m afraid you have wasted your time.

HARODA

Not entirely.  I have come for another matter as well.

CARLOS

What is it?

HARODA

The High Command, Major General Seshei has directed  me to requisition for this house.

AMANDA

(At the kitchen door) What?

CARLOS

Amanda.

HARODA

The High Command has chosen this house to serve as his residence.

CARLOS

Why this particular house, Captain? There are many other fine residences closer to your headquarters.

HARODA

(Rising, going to the window, looking out) This is the heart  of the city.  An ideal location. It faces the church, the townsquare, the public market and the terminal.  And it has a good view of the wharf.  This is a perfect place.

CARLOS

(With great effort) Very well. We shall vacate the house.

HARODA

That will not be necessary.  This is a very  large house. You are free to occupy part of it.

CARLOS 

(Flatly) That is most generous, but we are  ready to give it up for your exclusive use.

HARODA

For the High Command, you understand.  You own  the drugstore below?

CARLOS

Yes.  My other daughter-in-law is a pharmacist.

HARODA

Good. The High Command further instructed me to requisition for all the drugs and supplies you have. You are not to sell any more drugs to the public. Needless to say, the High Command shall write you a receipt for the house and the drugs, to be  redeemed by the Japanese Imperial Government.

CARLOS

As you wish.

HARODA

Oh, one last thing.  The Cadillac below—

CARLOS

Take it.

HARODA

You will get a receipt for it.

CARLOS

When will you need the house, Captain?

HARODA

As soon as the High Command returns from Manila.  In a week’s time.

CARLOS

We will be out before then.

HARODA

Please, that is not necessary.

CARLOS

I insist, Captain. I am sure the High Command would appreciate  having some—privacy—and freedom  of movement.

HARODA

Very well, since you insist.  (Again, bowing slightly, acknowledging each one of them)  Now that everything is settled, I bid you good  evening.  (He goes to the door, then turns to Franco before leaving) You will please see me at headquarters at 9 o’clock  tomorrow morning.  You will not fail.

FRANCO

Good night, Captain.  (Haroda exits)

AMANDA

(Distraught)   Oh my God, what shall we do?   What  are they doing to us?  They can’t do this to us!

CARLOS

There is nothing we can do.  (To Franco)  You will  see him tomorrow?

FRANCO

Do I have any choice?

CARLOS

(Regarding  him  keenly)  About going to see  him,  no. (Slowly   and  carefully)  But  as to   his   proposal, others  have declined, as I have, and we are  none  the worse for it.

FRANCO

You need not tell me that, Father.

CARLOS

(To Amanda)  Come, Amanda.  I am very tired. (He holds out  an  arm, and they  leave  through  stage right)

CRISTY

(She looks at him, anguished)  Franco, you’re not going to do it.

FRANCO

(In deep thought, troubled)  Do what?

CRISTY

Collaborate.

FRANCO

(Dully)  No.

CRISTY

(She eyes him keenly; he turns and they stare into each other’s  eyes, and he turns away)  Franco?  (A  slight pause)  Come to bed, it’s late.

FRANCO

Go head.  (He dismisses her with a curt wave of  his hand.  She turns and leaves, visibly hurt.  He remains standing for  a  while, then he sinks  into  a  chair, spreads  his legs out wearily, and puts his hands  over his face as lights dim and fade)

CONTINUED…

Elsa Victoria Martinez Coscolluela was born in Dumaguete City, where she earned her AB and MA for Creative Writing at Silliman University. (She was also Miss Silliman 1964.) Later, she was Vice President for Academic Affairs at the University of St. La Salle, and retired in 2010 after thirty-two years of service. Upon retirement, she was conferred the rank of Professor Emeritus and was designated Special Assistant to the President for Special Projects, a post that she continues to hold. During her term as VPA, she founded the Negros Summer Workshops with film Director Peque Gallaga in 1990, and the IYAS Creative Writing Workshop in 2000, in collaboration with Dr. Cirilo Bautista, Dr. Marjorie Evasco and the Bienvenido N. Santos Creative Writing Center of De La Salle University, Manila. She writes poetry, fiction, drama, and filmscripts in English. She has published a book of poetry, Katipunera and Other Poems. Several of her works have been anthologized. As a writer, she is best known for her full-length play about Dumaguete during World War II, In My Father’s House, which has been produced in Dumaguete, and in Japan, Singapore, San Francisco, and New York. She was inducted to the Palanca Hall of Fame in 1999 and is the recipient of several awards from the CCP, Philippines Free Press, and the Philippine Centennial Literary Competition. She continues to work at the University of St. La Salle where she manages several special projects and directs projects for the Eduardo Cojuangco Foundation.

Excerpt from Sweet Haven

By LAKAMBINI SITOY

Sweet Haven is set in the little city of Donostia, where bad news travels fast. So when 16-year-old Naia is found in an illicit pornography video, the tight-knit community is outraged. They want answers. The finger of blame soon points to Narita, Naia’s absentee mother, for putting career ahead of duty.  Now Narita is back from Manila and must face her past and the memories of a life she fled. In search of the answers to her daughter’s scandal, she follows a trail of evidence to reveal a web of family secrets, corruption, prejudice and the barriers of social class. Sweet Haven is a story of a family buffeted by an ailing and intransigent nation, of the simple and bitter ways by which a family falls apart, and the brave leaps they can take to put themselves back together.* 

The day that followed was designated for one of the ordeals of her life with Daniel: the Sunday service at the university church. Luth opened her eyes to gray dawn light. She turned over in the hope of getting more sleep and discovered her husband lying by her side. In discomfort she squirmed away. It was rare, nowadays, that they awakened in the same bed together. But last night he had crept in almost as soon as she had lain down. Perturbed from the meeting with the lawyer, she had immediately sought to lay a barrier between the two of them by means of a formal talk.

“How can you be serious?” she said in her normal voice now, picking up the conversation that had trailed off into nothingness the night before, when he had turned from her and lapsed into unconsciousness. “Why do you keep encouraging that man? Do you think I’m an imbecile, that I don’t know we’re being used?”

His eyes were wide open, too.

“You say you want to take her to the police station and then to court. Do you realize what that will do to all of us? The shame?”

She could not abide being next to him, the sweat-damp covers binding their limbs. Was he dead? she wondered suddenly. Had he had an attack of some sort, or was he asleep, like a frog, with eyes open? But she was afraid to drag herself up, lean over and verify, lest he, in this inappropriate moment, reach for her.

Her husband moved, stretched his than limbs. He seemed to have gained ten years in the night. Luth escaped to the kitchen. In the sink was a used plate. An empty can of tuna fish sat on the counter, besieged by ants. Naia had crept out of her room some hours before to eat, and left the clean-up to her.

Luth breakfasted furtively, chewing and swallowing long after the hunger had been sated. Daniel busied himself in the garage. He revved the car engine a couple of times, humming in an annoying, joyless way. Luth knew he was casting around for something to do so he wouldn’t have to talk to her. Why didn’t he just turn his computer on? In the last year or so he, a sixty-one-year-old PhD, had discovered video games. Atrocious military fantasies were his favorite.

The door to Naia’s room was closed, as always these days. Luth tried the knob anyway. The door opened without resistance this time. The girl was asleep, on her stomach, her breathing almost inaudible. The air-conditioner had shut down automatically hours before, but the atmosphere was chilly nonetheless. The drawn curtains kept out the harsh morning light.

She paused by the bed. Who was this creature? What was this horrible thing they had accused her of? When I was her age I was a good girl, thought Luth. Never went with boys, never read dirty books, never touched myself. There were bailes at the town plaza that the “ladies” could enter free of charge, but I never went to any of them. At fifteen I was a good girl—no, not a girl, a woman already. I had four siblings to take care of, and twice a month my father’s two bastards came to the back door to beg. We had no maid; I ran the house.

Naia had kicked the sheets to the foot of the bed; her legs were long and smooth, without the damaging insect bite scars that so many lesser creatures bore, those pale round flaws, edged in black, that in Luth’s childhood were called diet, after the ten-centavo coins. This perfect body, warm and breathing, submerged in the early morning light, had been host to God knows how many men, Luth grieved. The entire community had had her granddaughter. Lashed her and branded her with jets of hot seed. The Naia who lay there sleeping was irredeemably wealthy with experience.

Luth opened a drawer at random. It held the usual clutter a child cannot throw away: elementary school IDs, notebooks filled with messages from classmates, a grubby old Nokia phone. There was one photograph, of a baby. Luth squinted. Which one? It would have to be Naia, she thought; the photo was in color. The hand that supported the infant around the waist wore a white lace glove. Luth peered closer. It was not a glove. It was a bandage. The hand was Antonia’s, then. The old injury. She shook her head to dispel sad memories—the appalling violence, the damage in its wake. Where are you? she mouthed to her younger daughter, always her favorite. Why did you leave? Weren’t you happy here? Antonia had been gone two years. If she had stayed to guide the child, none of this would have happened.

A movement caught Luth’s eye. It was the computer, still running, a screensaver—a woman with wild red hair—silently flipping through the same four images. Impatient with such modernity, she pulled the plug on the machine, banishing the hungry, knowing face.

Naia rolled over on her back, exhaled. She was no longer beautiful, thought Luth. She was used. What a waste, those long eyelashes, that lovely, tragic mouth with the droopy upper lip. A waste, a waste.

The lashes fluttered: the girl was awake.

“Lola.”

Her voice was thin, as though from disuse. She sat up, smoothing down her T-shirt to cover her navel, the simple movements pained. “Lola, what are you doing? Those are my things.” Her head snapped around, checking the room to see what else had been disturbed. “I was downloading music!”

“Waste of electricity,” Luth managed, her heart thudding in her chest. She could not meet the girl’s gaze. The dark brows, the crescent eyes that were no longer perfect, that were, damaged, diseased.

“Lola, this is my room!”

“You don’t own anything in this house. Get dressed. You should have talked to that man yesterday. He promised to save you from shame. But of course you’re the one who knows best. All the time. Now we go to church. This is a Sunday like any other.”

“Luth?” Daniel called from the next room. “Leave the child alone. Let her do as she wants.”

Now it was eight and the sky was cloudless, the heat unrelieved. Luth took a shower to cover her weeping. There was a great void within her. The warm water sluiced over the hull that was her flesh. Mercifully her husband left her alone as she dressed in the bedroom. Occasionally he liked to surprise her by easing himself through the door, watching her movements with the diffident smile she had once loved. She hated their mutual nakedness, hated the casualness with which, nowadays, she could shed her clothes and converse with him, impervious to the nut -brown shriveled organ nodding placidly at his groin. This was all it came to—the lust, the dreams, the dance.

The maid opened the gate for them, her gaze downcast, her movements self-conscious. Afraid of getting yelled at again. Daniel had washed the car. Wiped the windows with a squeegee, scraped off the layers of dirt flung up by the wheels. She knew he would be pleased with himself, and expect a few noises of approval from her. Luth could muster nothing. She got into the passenger’s seat. The backseat looked as always, a hodgepodge of books and student papers and, today, a crumpled supermarket bag. She gritted her teeth.

They chugged through the neighborhood, an enclave of fading wooden cottages sheltered by acacia trees. The Pastors had lived in a house rented from the university for nearly forty years, as did their neighbors, administrative staff and teachers like her and her husband. Luth had loved these unpaved lanes, their American names—Mercer, Dereham, Westbrook—the gardens bursting with bougainvillea and orchids and hibiscus, a riot of color all year round. Over time she had observed with chagrin the gradual decay of the houses. The university left maintenance to its tenants, but no one cared enough to spruce up their homes, not even with a fresh coat of paint now and then. It wasn’t part of the culture. But it was standard practice to gripe about how Sweethaven U worked its employees like slaves. On paper, their salaries had increased in proportion to their seniority, but those wages had failed to account for inflation or the devaluation of the peso that began in the 1980s.

Luth saw no one, but fancied eyes peering through the grimy screens at the windows of each cottage, the inhabitants gleefully tracking their progress. At last they reached Urbino Road, city territory, a route that connected their neighborhood of faculty homes to the university campus. Here they were just one vehicle among several traveling the two-lane stretch. The houses and store fronts had kept pace with the times—they passed a restaurant opened not two years before, a privately-run kindergarten in a residential bungalow, and a handful of Internet stations, their glass doors papered with video game posters. Money from a generation working overseas. Luth and Daniel entered the university through one of the side gates, the guard on duty peering at their faces beyond the access sticker on the windshield. Small brown discs of acacia leaves, shed for the summer, spun up from their wheels as they drove down the avenue to the church. Luth cast a helpless glance at the edifice as they parked. Its concrete walls gleamed with a fresh coat of white paint, as in those early years, when she was a newly minted Protestant matron. The chimes sounded about their ears, calling to all of Sweethaven. Pretending to be searching in the glove compartment of the car, they waited until most of the worshippers had come up the walk and through the portals and been seated. Students mostly, dormers by alumni from the neighboring islands: boys and girls in shockingly casual jeans and flimsy Made-in-China cotton dresses. The old guard of Sweethaven would have arrived long ago and found their usual pews.

“Showtime!” Daniel said in that cheery performance voice of his, and together they marched up the steps and through the iron-bound winglike wooden doors and found an empty space in the center of the nave, just as the recorded chimes, broadcast from a speaker on the roof, came to an echoing end.

Luth sweated in her size-forty-eight silk dress, a gift that Antonia had sent her from Europe. The fabric that sheathed her was all wrong for this climate. Electric fans that stood in the side aisles brought the smells of fresh-soaped skin and a hundred different perfumes to her nose, but did nothing to dispel the heat. Last year she had sworn to keep her pain to herself—the humiliations of her marriage, the shock of her husband’s betrayal—and show up at church by Daniel’s side. Staking her claim. That had been in August. She had kept her dignity, put on clothes too fine for the lives they led, styled her hair. Above all, she had kept her face frozen and turned to the front. No one would ever catch her scanning the crowd for some foolish young graduate student face. The worst period of her life, and it was not yet over.

The scripture reading ended, and the minister claimed the pulpit. Daniel grunted approvingly by her side. He was always attentive to what was going on, or managed to put up a passable show. Wretchedly she pumped her palm frond fan.

Today the sermon was about listening. The minister used the patronizing, engulfing “we.” Were we attuned to the voices of our children, could we discern God’s word in the jumble of our mundane concerns? One could be an intellectual giant and yet remain a spiritual pygmy. Reverend Manguerra gripped the Pulpit, glared at his congregation, looked directly at Luth and Daniel’s pew. Smug from a scholarship at—what was that American school now? Wesleyan. A scholarship to Wesleyan. What kind of school was that? Had he been there on a minority Program? In his day her husband had competed with the best of them, the best of those whites. In his day.

Now people were reaching for their wallets, and the soft strains of a guitar penetrated Luth’s thoughts. In the center aisle, a man stood before a microphone, one foot up on a stool to support the instrument. He smiled as he sang the offertory melody, inviting the congregation to share in a moment of folksy intimacy, and at the sight and sound of him, Luth’s heart thudded violently once more and she thought she might throw up right on her pointed leather shoe tips. It was Rinky Holland. In his mid-fifties but with a voice as sweet and seductive as a youth’s. He wore a sports shirt and khakis, as though to mock the perfumes and embroidered barongs of the old guard. Two girls in the pew in front of her plucked at each other in delight.

Then Reverend Manguerra was praying for wisdom and courage, that dads and moms and, yes, grandparents, too, might gently guide the beloved among them who had strayed. Only God could condemn, and only God could forgive. Heads swiveled in their direction: the dean of women and her chemistry teacher husband, the head nurse at the pediatric ward, the grade school principal. There they sat, poor things, Daniel Pastor and his wife, Luzviminda, such a comedown, but oh, how they deserved it. How wonderful the Lord’s justice was, in the end. Rejoice! How he managed after years of seeming indifference to I take the proud among them down.

A collective mumble and clatter and the peal of the organ in the choir loft marked the end of the service. Luth would have bolted, first out the door, but her husband was in the way. They stood trapped in the pew, while the congregation inched through the aisle before them, men beaming at one another, reaching out to clasp hands, women calling greetings to friends. Nobody addressed the Pastors, but their every breath was marked.

Rinky Holland made his way up the aisle, smiling to himself. His wife, Emily, followed. She was the high school principal; her signature was first on the letter that had informed them of Naia’s crime and punishment. They moved toward the rear of the church with a cat-clean confidence, the woman a beauty as she had been for as long as Luth had known her: pale, unlined skin; tiny, perfect figure; and dark, soulful Spanish-heiress eyes.

Emily stopped at their pew. “Dan, how are you? These must be terrible times.”

“How are you, Emily, and congratulations to Rinky. What a wonderful solo that was.”

Mrs. Holland frowned, took in his insane smile, then forged on.

“I know your present troubles are difficult to talk about. Our family has always been friends with yours. I would like to step in now and help you myself. Unfortunately it is not proper for a man to receive counseling from a woman. But your wife, Daniel, with all my heart I reach out to your wife.”

Luth’s eyes flickered warily from the upturned face. Emily had spoken as though she were not present. Her gaze fell on the young man who waited beyond his mother. His name was Brent; he was Naia’s age and was some kind of cadet officer at their high school. The almond eyes that met hers were unpleasant, watchful. Sweat trickled from Luth’s temples, down to her jawline and her throat. Her bosom heaved beneath the orchid-purple silk. She understood that he was laughing at her, laughing with his mouth in a perfect serious line, this dark, slender boy in trendy khaki trousers, fondling a late-model mobile phone, looking as if he came from a family of millionaire generals. Looking at her and laughing.

“Snake!” Luth spat.

The look of piety vanished from Emily’s face. “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘Snake.’ You’re vampires. Snakes. You feed off People’s misery.”

Emily’s eyes narrowed. “People are in misery, Mrs. Pastor, because they bring it on themselves, in their solitude and pride.”

Brent Holland nodded to a friend, smirked, and, pocketing his mobile, sauntered off toward a wing exit. Luth lunged after him, determined to grab him and shake the arrogance out of him as she might have done had he been a fourth-grader in her charge, but Daniel checked her, clamping a hand on her arm.

She surrendered to panic, turning this way and that to seek support from the other parishioners and seeing nothing but malicious glee in their faces. They could have been peasants gawking at a knife fight. Daniel was quietly leading her down the aisle. She tried to snap off the press of his fingers at her elbow.

Emily had quite recovered herself and pursued them a few token steps. “Luth, I know you are under duress,” she said. “I cannot even imagine what pain you must be going through. You really, really must open up now.”

“Tell that woman to shut up,” she panted.

Daniel steered her out onto the lawn and in the direction of the science complex parking lot. A woman behind them gasped, “What happened? Who was it?” Another declared, “Scandalosa.” She could still hear Emily Holland’s parting shot: “You are more than welcome to come to our home for a cup of tea.”

They walked rapidly away, heads down, two fugitives.

* The summary of the novel is slightly modified from the text in the Rocking Chair Books website.
Lakambini Sitoy is the author of two collections of short stories, Mens Rea and Jungle Planet. She received the David T.K. Wong fellowship from the University of East Anglia, Norwich, United Kingdom in 2003 and has an M.A. from Roskilde University, Denmark, in the fields of English Studies and Cultural Encounters, both under the Department of Culture and Identity. She has also received numerous prizes in the annual Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards in the Philippines, was a recipient of the Philippines Graphic Literary Awards and Philippines Free Press Literary Awards, and was a columnist and editor at the Manila Times. She lives in Denmark. Sweet Haven is her first novel.

A Tragedy of Chickens

By IAN ROSALES CASOCOT

The day the small town of Dumaguet ran out of chicken, Pedro Murillo was feeling particularly cocky, like the cliché of a man walking on air. Those who saw him that morning—an old, bent woman who was almost blind from cataracts; a feline street boy smoking a thin cigarette while ogling the purse of a fat, heavily made-up woman whom he was certain to steal from; and a handsome policeman whose kittenish wife of six months had left him only the previous day for a professional sabongero—noted a lightness in the way the man strode towards the center of town.

The man, they also quickly noticed, was dressed not too immaculately in a red silken collar shirt and a black pair of pantaloons, the hems of which fluttered slightly in the soft but sudden breeze. He did not strike any of them as particularly commanding the way an army general or a film star would, and in truth they even found him a little disheveled, and scruffy-looking. But he walked with such presence, an uncomfortable gravity that pulled the nearest attention like a black collapsing star. For that, they were certainly sure he was walking on air. He seemed, in fact, to glide, but of course that was impossible, they quickly thought. For how could anyone glide through the air? They quietly admonished themselves, thinking that growing blindness, petty crime, and love lost certainly made illusions happen. The old woman, for instance, only yesterday mistook a chicken leg for her dead husband, and had refused to eat all day. And then that same night, she thought she saw the entire world with profound lightness that she could see everything. The delinquent, on the other hand, had often gone hungry that there were days he clucked like a mad man, and only the germ-laden fill of pagpag inasal could calm his aching belly—which would be perfectly all right if it were not for the taunting delusions he had of fat women suddenly feeding him, with ferocious love, a wealth of meat to his ready mouth. Lastly, the young policeman, hen-pecked to the very day his wife left him, had been daydreaming of wringing her unfaithful neck as if she were some soft spring chicken, and then making love to her in an abandon of forgiveness.

There were always visions of ghosts and murder. And now there was this specter of a gliding man in red silk shirt! The world, the three of them felt—a silent camaraderie now tying these strangers—the world was surely laughing at them.

The world crowed at their utter ridiculousness.

Yet they would also quickly forget him the moment Pedro fluttered past them. Each one, in a matter of seconds, would return to the vagaries of their own lives—there was a dimming vision to mourn for, there was a purse to steal, and there was a bleeding heart to tend—but when the same startling news came by day’s end, they would all somehow remember this man for no other reason except that he glided.

The bulletin came with the local news dressed up as a human interest story: apparently, there were no more chickens left to butcher and eat in Dumaguet town. Feathers and all, they had disappeared. Just like that. The television anchor only laughed at the bizarre story. “For how could any small town lose all its chickens at once?” he asked, and everybody who watched him laughed, too. People sometimes laugh before tragedies of chickens strike, the old woman, the street boy, and the policeman would think at roughly the same time, suddenly uncomfortable with the secret knowledge, and knowing somehow that the man in the red silk shirt had something to do with it.

In truth, the man in the red silk shirt had nothing to do with anything. His only crime, perhaps, was in falling in love so recklessly and perhaps in liking too much the taste of manok inato.

Nearing the center of town, the man who would be affected most of all by the coming turn of events continued to walk like a cock. There was good reason to the manly spring in Pedro Murillo’s steps: only a few minutes earlier, before he sauntered into the bright sunlight from an inconspicuous apartment shaded by the lone acacia tree along Avenida Sta. Catalina, he had finally—at the unforgivably virginal age of thirty-three—managed to make love to a woman.

And not just any woman. It was the beautiful girl who once waited on him in the city’s most popular chicken restaurant off Hibbard Avenue. She had waited on him for some months—six to be precise—before succumbing to the desire that burned too brightly in his eyes.

It was perhaps that startling sense of passion that made the surrender to the man perfectly understandable, for Pedro Murillo was not a handsome man. He was rather plain: an ordinary nose squatted on the center of his face, and underneath that slightly bulbous protrusion, there was a stretch of thick lips that rarely smiled. There were days when he could say in front of a mirror that he had the countenance of a blank wall, and sometimes the thought amused him. Often, it was only an irritable acknowledgment of his shortcomings, because this one rendered him strangely invisible. People sometimes could not see him. “But how could that be?” he once asked his mother, who died soon after from a freak outbreak of a deadly strain of chicken pox in Dumaguet, which disappeared as quickly as it manifested itself. (Sometimes Pedro thought it only appeared to take away his mother’s life, for which he was eternally grateful.) “How can anyone ever be invisible to the naked eye?” he asked.

But even his own mother did not say anything. She only looked past him, like he was not there, and then barked like a dog. Or crowed like a chicken? He wasn’t exactly sure.

Pedro Murillo could only claim to be extraordinarily tall, although his shoulders were also wide and strong, enough for him to be considered overtly masculine. And yet, despite the generosity of his frame, and perhaps because he had the tendency to blend into any background like a wall flower, he became painfully shy, and grew his hair just enough to be able to hide his face from the rest of the world.

What the rest of the world did not finally see of Pedro Murillo was that he had the slightest streak of blue in his dark eyes, something that came out only when the monsoons from the South would pour down on Dumaguet, around July or August after the summer sun had danced its fierce rampage. In the sheets of rain and the clash of thunder and lightning, Pedro’s eyes would burn blue into the night, to cease only when the last drop of rain would fall from the dark clouds.

But the blue had never sparkled so sharply as it did now. Six months ago, he had gone into Jo’s Manok Inato to get his fill of Dumaguet’s famous chicken dish—a grilled concoction of choice drumstick or chicken breast marinated overnight with a strange and secret combination of milk, sugar, and aromatic spices.

From the moment the woman who waited on him asked, “Paa o pecho?” Pedro Murillo looked up, and knew—like one had knowledge of an immediate need to pee—that he was in love.

It struck him like the quietest of surprise, and almost suffocated him.

It held his breath and clumped all air around the base of his throat so that, finally, he had to force his mouth open just to let in much-needed air. Only then could he look at the woman, and in his eyes—even without a single patter of rain outside—the streak of blue started to glow. For sure, it had never glowed like this. It glowed like moon shine. It glowed like cat’s pee under dark light. It glowed like ephemeral neon, pungent with urgency.

But he could only stare at her and stammer something incoherent, which Ana (for that was the woman’s name on her nametag) took as a preference for paa—or drumstick—quickly thinking that the manager had already warned her that too many customers were preferring pecho, or chicken breast, over the paa, and there could only be too many leftovers of drumsticks by the end of the day. Which was certainly bad for business, the girl quickly agreed, because could there be more breasts than legs to any one chicken? Certainly, everyday, by the time lunch or dinner came, and along with it the hordes of the city’s voracious chicken eaters, she had gotten used to spouting this mantra to her customers: “Wala na’y pecho. Paa na lang—There are no more breasts, just legs.” And to be sure, there were no pieces of breast meat on the outdoor grill. They were all in the back of the restaurant, Ana knew, soaking inside vats of the secret milky marinade.

Pedro did not particularly like paa because he found the cartilaginous part an affront to the succulence of barbecue chicken, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore as he graciously said “Thank you” once Ana presented the barbecued chicken leg, browned by the fiery grill and the caramelized sugar brushed on the tender meat. The chicken leg was set on a round cutting of a banana leaf placed on top of a server made of stylized straw. Beside the manok inato, which was skewered through its middle by a stout bamboo stick, there was a clump of achara or pickled papaya and a lump of white rice still retaining the shape of the cup it was measured from. “Thank you,” Pedro Murillo said once again, shyly smiling this time.

Ana never knew customers to be this polite, and so she replied softly, like the kindly country girl she recently was—“Wala’y sapayan—Don’t mention it,” and went away beaming a bit. Perhaps she was even thinking that she could have been kinder and should have swiped just one pecho from the vats in the back, without the manager ever knowing, and serving it to the man on Table 3.

When she glanced back, she saw him staring at his barbecued paa, a look of confusion in his eyes. And then, almost tentatively, he bit into his chicken, and that was that. In a few minutes, all that was left of the chicken were bones. This Pedro proceeded to suck with gusto, and gnaw at the bones and what little remained of the meat. By the time he downed the last morsel with a glass of Coca-Cola, he began to sport a satisfied face. It was, Ana quickly decided, almost as if the man was in love.

He certainly was. He had never met a woman as beautiful for him as Ana. It was not that she was perfection of alabaster skin and the face of a diwata. She was rather dark—her skin, although smooth, was the color of light chocolate. She was short, although she appeared tall because she took care never to stoop. She always walked with her back straight, and head held high—and for that, she was considered a pariah by most of her peers who thought she was arrogant “when she is just a common wench,” they’d say, “a waitress in a chicken restaurant!” That these words hurt did not actually matter to her because she had been through worse. She had been called various names: a gold-digger, and a “common whore,” even if she was still a virgin at 19. People also called her “manokon,” because her eyes, although perfectly almond-shaped, had one iris that slightly strayed off to the middle. It was not very obvious, and for many of her acquaintances, it took a few meetings for them to be more certain what it was about her that unsettled them. It was certainly not her soft voice, nor the way she walked around with her head held high. It was not her thin lips, nor her breasts that juggled like tiny melons. It was not that she wore no make-up on most days either, like the rest of the Jo’s Manok Inato girls. But when they would at last stare right into her eyes during rare moments when she would frankly regard them with the curiosity of a hen for a worm, there it was, all too suddenly: the left eye slightly askew, at once looking at them and not looking at them. It was always an uncomfortable discovery.

Ana would not wear make-up, like her sisters back home in Guihulngan town insisted they all should, and so her lips had none of the artificial thickness of rouge, and her cheeks none of the sheen of foundation. What made her distinctive from the rest of the brood was the long, black hair she kept untied; it fell around her shoulders like a cascade. That hair had always been the source of envy by her older sisters who also thought her catty and snobbish because Ana would not indulge in their games and gossip, nor join in their common obsession of the radio dramas that made them weep, or cry in terror. “Ang baktin nga ga-daster!—It’s the sow in a common house-dress! they’d shriek, and then laugh out loud in their company of small joys.

When she was growing up, Ana knew she had to escape their provincial smallness. Her parents were poor. Her father repaired shoes and umbrellas, and her mother had a small stall at the local tsiangge where she sold everything from cigarettes to candies to eggs to produce from her small garden: kalamunggay, kangkong, sili, and mangoes when the fruit was in season.

They lived in a small wooden house with thatched roof, which was fairly respectable for the most part—but it was poor, and the only entertainment the sisters had was the radio (which blared away from sunrise to sundown) and the flirty gossip about the town’s abundance of horny brown bucks. Gorio supposedly had the biggest dick in town, or so Criselda and Betchang claimed, giggling like blushing bitches in heat; Manuel had the smallest, and Alvin—that rogue of a charmer with the sweet, innocent smile—had deflowered most of Guihulngan’s girls behind the convento, where the old willow trees bundled together to create a hiding place of leaves, limbs, and tall grass. But Ana would have none of this type of gossip—although she knew the Alvin boy quite well, and had once felt a strange quickening in the triangle that spread from her nipples to the delta of her pubis when she had seen him smiling sweetly at her during church service one Sunday morning. It was not that she was moral and believed in the virginal tenets the nuns at school railroaded at them. She, in fact, hated the nuns and their cloistered lives. It was only that she did not want to become pregnant, like many of the girls she knew, and end up becoming bored housewives, trapped in a very small town, with only the radio to while away the rest of their days.

While she planned her escape, she took to her mother’s chickens as the best alternative to becoming bored. She had already read all the komiks in the tsiangge’s basahan, and she found herself at the edge of surrendering to the radio melodramas of her older sisters. That was when she decided she would feed the chickens one day. “I would like to take over Betchang’s chores, Ma,” she said, “I’d like to feed the chickens myself.”

“Are you sure about that? What about your sister?” her mother said.

“Oh, if she wants it, she can have it,” Betchang quickly agreed. Ana’s chores, after all, were simple: she wiped the tiny sala clean and washed the dishes after lunch and dinner. Betchang knew this was work that afforded her the best opportunity to follow her radio dramas more faithfully. Feeding chicken was “gawas” work after all, and she hated it—she’d always cursed the gods under her breath for work she deemed below menial. She hated it when all she could hear of the unfolding drama was a small echo quickly lost in the cackle of the chickens rushing about her legs. Often she had to run to the open window and ask her sisters what was happening next.

The exchange was made. Ana began feeding the chickens, and that day she welcomed the chance to be outside, where the expansive blue of the sky promised more than the sad radio dramas, bouncing off the thin walls of their tiny house ever could.

There were nine hens in all and three roosters who cackled at the slightest provocation, always managing to rupture the dead quiet of most afternoons with their piercing crows. Among the twelve chickens, there was also the fluttering of yellow and brown chicks, newly hatched and twittering about in their mad dash for Ana’s kernels of grain, which she spread about with precision and a touch of generosity. She loved the chickens and wanted to see them well-fed.

But there was one hen she was most interested in, perhaps because it was the proudest of the lot and always looked straight at her as if Ana were her equal. She called this white leghorn Burgita, because she was also fat and produced the most number of eggs. She would talk to Burgita as she never did to her older sisters.

“I want to get out of Guihulngan soon, you know,” she told the hen, who regarded Ana with some interest. Ana offered it grain in her cupped hands, and Burgita slowly pecked at the kernels with its tiny, pointed beak, and then studied her some more.

“Guihulngan is too small, don’t you think, Burgita?”

The hen clucked and stared at her. Ana squatted down and played with the dirt with her fingers. She made wriggles on the ground while the chickens dashed about her.

“I want something more, you know?” she said. “I want to feel what it’s like to be in a bigger place, bigger than Guihulngan—perhaps Dumaguet, perhaps Manila. But maybe not Manila. It’s much too big probably for a small town girl like me. And then, when I’m in Dumaguet, I’d find a man—a strong man—who’ll love me and marry me. And then we will have many children, the way you have your many chicks. What do you think, Burgita?”

But Burgita only stared back.

All of a sudden, without even a squawk of a warning, the hen dashed at her and started pecking at her face. Burgita aimed at Ana’s askew left eye. Only with quick thinking and reflexes did she manage to shield herself with her arms.

Burgita began to cackle as if she was in the clutch of sudden madness, and continued to peck violently at Ana. She pecked at Ana’s arms. She pecked at her legs. She pecked at her long hair.

Ana gave a brief, startled shout, and then kicked at the chicken, which went hurdling against a small kalamunggay tree. Burgita  recovered and started attacking her once more.

This time, Ana was ready.

When Burgita flapped her white wings and flew at her face, Ana grabbed the chicken from the air. With practiced flourish, she quickly twisted the chicken’s neck, and then let it drop.

Like all dead chickens, Burgita ran around the small garden in wild circles, dragging its head—lying limp on its side—on the dirt ground.

That night, the family had fried chicken for supper.

The next morning, Ana left town for Dumaguet, and quickly found work at Jo’s Manok Inato. She watched the roasting chicken browning in the light, and she thought, Perfect.

By late afternoon of the same day six months ago, when people in the small town were busy navigating the sudden Dumaguet traffic to get home to their early evening soap operas, or to go shopping before the shops closed for the night, Pedro Murillo was back in Jo’s Manok Inato in time for supper.

He sat in the same table, and breathlessly waited for Ana to come to him, with pad and pen in hand, ready to take his order. And still it was the same exchange: man and woman and the arbitrary need for chicken. “Paa or pecho?” Ana asked, smiling. And without fail, Pedro said, with a slight quiver in his voice, “Paa.” And she smiled even more brightly and went away to prepare his order.

The next day, for lunch and dinner, he came, ordering paa still, and Ana would nod, smile a bit, and prepare Pedro’s meal.

The day after that, Pedro came. Lunch and dinner. And also the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. “We may run out of paa soon if you make this a habit, manong,” Ana said one day. “Not that I am complaining. You’re very good for business, I must say.”

“You can call me Pedro, and what do you know … I just happen to love paa, that’s all,” he said, smiling broadly at first but ending with a gentle chuckle, a mirthful sound that usually comes only with the greatest of comfort—like a lazy day at the beach, like lying down on the grass to gaze at the stars, like reading a funny passage from a good book.

Day after day, Pedro Murillo showed up at the restaurant, and each time he seemed to grow bolder, more masculine, and people finally began to notice him. He seemed to grow even taller like a hulking angel, and his plain face seemed to crunch more energy and character. Some even grew afraid of him, as if this giant of a man with the strange dark blue eyes, would take them like frail barbecued pecho and eat them. Lunch and dinner, Pedro came. And also the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that.

“You seem to like chicken a lot, Pedro,” Ana said.

“But of course,” he said with a slight majesty to his tone, something which surprised even him. “I am, after all, a Dumagueteño. Born and bred.”

Which was true. In Dumaguet, people had a peculiar relationship with their manok inato. Or with any chicken dish for that matter—be it inasal, or tuyok manok, or chicken fried in butter, or chicken grilled with a variety of exotic herbs and spices, or just roasted to gravy perfection plain and simple. Off the small town’s main highway and into the various webs that made up its narrow streets, the place was dotted with restaurants and carinderias and eateries and cafés and makeshift small stands that sell chickens of varied cooking style and fancy seasoning. Dumagueteño were obsessed with chicken.

An estimated 3,800 chickens—perhaps even more than that—got the axe every single day in restaurants and carinderias all over poultry-hungry Dumaguet. And this figure did not include the chickens sold at the public market stalls or supermarkets. Three thousand eight hundred chickens and counting… pre-packaged, or straight from someone’s local backyard.

If one really thought about it, that was an awful lot of chicken.

And this man, Ana thought, the quivering in her delta suddenly growing in intensity as the months flew by like mad chickens, this man can gorge on them all.

When anyone ever came up with the idea of the essential Dumagueteño, chicken meat should be way up there—together with the observation of the local habit of people walking too slow, like leisurely turtles, as if promenading under an eternal full moon—in defining who Dumagueteños were.

Once, a few moons ago, Pedro Murillo met up with a friend from Manila who was in Dumaguet for a brief visit “to get away from the exasperating hustle and bustle of big city life,” or so the friend said. (In truth, the friend—a professional sabongero—was in town for a tryst with a policeman’s wife.) The friend perfunctorily asked him: “Now, where can we have a good lunch for today?” and then added, with a certain emphasis bordering on thoughts of over-saturation: “And I don’t mean another dish of chicken.”

Pedro pretended not to know what his sabongero friend was implying, but he knew what he was talking about. They went to Lab-as instead, to sample the seaside restaurant’s fare of bangus dishesbe it relleno, lumpia, kinilaw, or sugba. And yet, like a rebuke in their upsetting the grand scheme of things, they felt surrounded: in every corner of Dumaguet, there was some small shrine disguised as eating places dedicated to the art of chicken-meat mastication—and Jo’s Manok Inato was the biggest temple of them all. Its grilled chicken has become very much a part of Dumaguet tradition. The delectable white meat, sweetish to the taste, and smelling always of some grilled milky heaven, was part of the Dumaguet blood. It was, Pedro told the sabongero friend, the first thing most Dumagueteños missed of home, together with the cheeseburger from a small deli called Taster’s Delight. No one could sufficiently explain why this was always so. Pork or beef or fish were fine culinary considerations, of course—but chicken? Chicken defined the Dumagueteños very taste buds, so much so that by the end of this one day when Pedro Murillo began walking on air, the impossible happened, and the panic began.

It began with a fat heavily made-up woman walking into another restaurant—a placed called Chin Loong, because it fancied itself a Chinese restaurant—and was told by an apologizing waiter, with a flustered, unbelieving look on his face, that there were no chicken dishes available in the restaurant, and it seemed everywhere else as well.

“Not even fried chicken?” the woman asked.

“No ma’am,” the waiter said. He was a patient man who was already tired to the bones since he had to do all the available shifts for extra pay, to raise the money to finance his mother’s cataract operation.

The fat woman looked at him, quite contemptuously, as if he was lying.

“Even sweet and sour chicken?”

“No ma’am.”

“Is this a joke?” she shrieked, waving her huge purse at the poor waiter.

“No ma’am,” he said, sounding even more tired.

“Chicken with herbs? Hot and spicy chicken in Caribbean style? Enchilada?”

“No ma’am.”

“Moroccan chicken stew? Malaysian chicken? Chicken curry with potatoes?”

“No ma’am.”

“Not even something simple, like salted chicken deep-fried in butter?”

“The town has run out of chicken, ma’am,” he said.

“How can any place run out of chicken?” the woman asked, exasperated, because she was already dreaming of chicken dripping with the sweet and sour combination only Chin Loong could make. The waiter mumbled some more apologies, and recommended the sweet and sour squid instead.

The fat woman grumbled, and then stampeded out. In her hurry, she did not see the approaching scruffy boy who, like the swiftest cockroach, managed to snatch her purse and run fast from her fat threats and her screaming. Some distance off, the boy came to a dry ditch where, in the anticipation that followed, he began counting what money bills there were—Enough, the boy thought, tears streaming down his thin face, to last me more than a month of eating chicken.

But the grumbling in the small town grew darker and added an element of surprise to the wild speculations when, one by one, Dumaguet’s eating places—every last one of them—discovered there were no more chicken meat in their freezers. When they called their suppliers, there was even grimmer news: there were no cackling livestock on hold either, much to the surprise of everyone, and all the eggs had disappeared, too. There were just no chickens left in Dumaguet, nor in the neighboring towns of Sugbulan and Valenciahermoso and Bakikong.

But it seemed only natural for things to disappear in Dumaguet: it was a place of many disappearances, some mythological, some historical. The name of the place itself came from “daguit,” which meant “to kidnap away,” a mark of a time long gone when this tip of Negros Island was once the favorite spot for Moro marauders to attack and whisk away men, women, and children from small settlements around the Banica River, all herded off to the slave trade in Malacca in the South.

Dumaguet was a place of eternal capture, and of late something else had defined the way the small town “stole away” its visitors—there were hundreds of people from as far away as Palawan or Samar or Leyte or Luzon or Mindanao who’d come for a spell, and then refuse to leave. Or perhaps leave with such heartbreak, as if they knew the small place to be bred in their bones and blood.

Ultimately, all Dumagueteños, native or transplanted, came to love chicken meat like it was manna from heaven. Its disappearance, of course, would be met with such terror, and some of the religious ones—the hypocrites of Calvary Church or Living Bread Chapel, for instance—all talked of impending Dooms Day.

In Panda Haus, an ice cream shop over at Harold’s Mansion in the dry, dirty borough of Tubod, the announcement of its own shortage of chicken proved a panicky development to Pedro Murillo himself. For it was the place he was headed to, in his cocky approach, in the very center of town: it was his own private chicken paradise since he knew not too many people in Dumaguet realized that Panda Haus served more than just locally-made ice cream. One of Pedro Murillo’s favorites from the Panda Haus menu was its generous serving of Steamed Rice Chicken, which was not exactly the regular dimsum variety people knew. For Pedro, the plus side of this dish—aside from the fact that it was extremely addicting—was the fact that all of Panda Haus’s chickens were of the organic variety, which, he was told, made the whole lot quite healthy to eat. And most days, living the bachelor’s life always on the go, Pedro Murillo subsisted on the dish when he was not out consuming manok inato.

That fateful day, when the Panda Haus attendants told him they had run out of organic chicken, Pedro Murillo panicked.

“You must have some chicken hidden somewhere!”

The attendant only stared at him, and said, “But sir! We don’t grow organic chicken from trees and pluck them just like that!”

“Well, then,” Pedro Murillo said in a huff, “better hatch them fast.”

He knew then what he thought he must have always known. One could deprive a Dumagueteño of chocolate and cake and lechon and all other delicacies in the world. But just give him his damned chicken meat. For all that it was, chicken was the most definitive of meats. Wasn’t it any wonder that when people must describe some exotic meat dish—say snake, or kangaroo—they would always say, “Tastes just like chicken”?

Chicken was, Pedro Murillo knew, the universal paragon of the tastefully divine.

Thus, every Sunday after church, Pedro Murillo would go to City Burger instead of Jo’s Manok Inato, to pay devotion. City Burger was a strange misnomer of a place because, although it did offer burgers, it was more well-known for its peculiar blend of chicken barbecue, which was the complete opposite of Jo’s milky concoction. Pedro Murillo did not mind the strange angles of this restaurant along Real Street, an open-air space that resembled the ruins of a gutted house (it was, in fact, the ruins of a gutted building). He did not even mind the apparent misnaming of the place. He, like the hordes, all came to City Burger for one thing: its grilled chicken quite unlike its delicious cousin over at Jo’s with its extra-sweetish taste of the sauce the barbecue dripped with.

Pedro always felt guilty after eating in City Burger, but it was a guilt he could live with. It was the same guilt that possessed him whenever he crossed the street from his office to the stone’s throw distance of Nena’s Kamalig. Only in Dumaguet could there be distinctions about the grilling styles of chicken. There was supposed to be the Dumaguet-style, as in Jo’s and City Burger’s, and there was the Bacolod-style. It was called inasal, and although Nena’s Kamalig also served liempo and a host of other grilled meat with the distinctive taste that was a combination of burnt liver and catsup, it was the chicken—not surprisingly—that people took to liking more. The dish was delicious in itself but never complete without the final touch: that sauce on the table that looked like reddish moonshine. Chicken oil drippings. “That’s a heart attack waiting to happen,” Pedro’s sabongero friend once commented, before he dashed off to meet his kittenish paramour.

 “It’s a risk anyone’s willing to take,” Pedro said, believing in the romance of the risk, and readily ladling in a generous amount of chicken oil droppings for his sabongero friend to partake.

There were also the various lechon manok stalls all over the place, especially Manok ni San Pedro and Golden Roy’s—Dumaguet’s original lechon manok place, its generous chicken still amazingly spicy to the smell and to the taste. Eventually though, all Dumagueteños still flocked to Jo’s for its succulent chicken barbecue, rivaled by many but still retaining its distinction as the keeper of a place’s memory.

The restaurant was a swanky place now, an improvement from the old Jo’s of the previous decade, which was a crowded affair of amakan darkened with soot and the grime of years.

The night Pedro Murillo succeeded in wooing Ana into bed with him, she had taken his orders silently, and then finally told him that the only way to go about eating his manok inato was with bare hands, straight from dish to mouth.

“No spoons and forks,” Ana said, a catch in her throat as she felt Pedro Murillo’s blue stare taking hold of her. “Kinamot is the way to go about it.”

In the middle of the room with people eating with bare hands, how best to eat his barbecued paa didn’t really matter any more to Pedro Murillo. But his eyes said, Of course.

This was the only way to go about it, he thought, looking at Ana with his darkening blue eyes: chicken touching skin, going straight to mouth, tender meat grinding against the touch of tongue and teeth. The ritual became the mark of their—Pedro’s and Ana’s—familiar shared secret. This was, they knew, their bare, intimate homage to the growing passion—and the food—that defined them.

When, at last, Pedro Murillo finished with his last bite, wiping his mouth with the brusque flourish of hand by a man in heated want, Ana almost fell into a faint, and that night, Pedro Murillo took her to her home along Avenida Sta. Catalina. Under the blanket of darkness, she turned to him naked, and he entered her.

When they came, Ana could swear she heard the world explode in the bright cackles and crows of chickens far away, so loud the sound seemed to invade her soul.

For a brief moment, in the span of minutes it took Pedro Murillo to hurtle to the heavens with his conquest and subsequent surrender, an old woman blind with cataracts was able to see with a clarity that shone so brightly, she would remember seeing the world with so much preciseness she saw happiness and sadness dressed as angels. She was staring out her window gazing at her memory of the stars, when suddenly the stars focused themselves beyond her haze, and she could see clearly the outline of a rooster in a bright new constellation. How she crowed at the sight.

In another corner of Dumaguet, a young boy, brown with the dirt of the streets and tottering with the hunger pangs that ate at him, fell into a ditch, and in a burst of light fell into the generous bosoms of fat women, with their purses filled with all the riches of the world, and filling his craving with the sweetest of chicken meat.

And still in another corner of the small town, a handsome policeman reached out to his anguished, heartbroken dreams—and behold, when he leaned wearily out from the dreamstate, he held once again his beautiful kittenish wife in his arms, all of her flesh still pure and innocent for him, and then they made love under the rooster stars, as she breathed, with unforsaken truth, that she loved him, that she would never leave him, and that all sabongeros would soon die anyway from too much cholesterol in chicken oil drippings.

All around them, Dumaguet crowed with the sounds of a thousand chickens. And when Pedro Murillo finally lay down breathlessly at the side of his Ana, who was also out of breath, they could sense the growing calm. The sounds of crowing soon dissipated into a dreadful, beautiful quiet.

The very next day, there were no more chickens.

But we must end happily this tale: nine months later, an egg—which always comes before the chicken—fell from the sky.

Ian Rosales Casocot taught literature, creative writing, and film at Silliman University in Dumaguete City, where he was Founding Coordinator of the Edilberto and Edith Tiempo Creative Writing Center. He is the author of several books, including the fiction collections Don’t Tell Anyone, Bamboo Girls, Heartbreak & Magic, and Beautiful Accidents. In 2008, his novel Sugar Land was longlisted in the Man Asian Literary Prize. He was Writer-in-Residence for the International Writers Program of the University of Iowa in 2010.

Geography

By ALLAN JUSTO PASTRANA

There is a way to go about this place–how I let it
settle on my left pulse and leave it there, when
it’s never truly mine, but yours, irretrievably,
like a word you just said: maybe sleeve, or
sorrow, stranded in a slowness our arms
are trying to imitate. The boulevard hangs
here—not absolutely, but instinctively—
with its brief incidents: the breakwater, shop stalls,
trees. You know how this city works;
so that when you start to speak in your native
tongue, everything clicks into place, just
right, probably unpunished even.

Some nights I want to believe that any
stranger turns into a small country.
I see one in every bar or café—
Why Not, El Amigo, Memento—the kind
that lets himself be struck by a silence so dissonant,
foreign, that receives the soft light from every entrance
with too much mercy, too much love. Once you told me,
listening to Glenn Gould’s Bach, how you could almost
catch his heartbeat between fragments and phrases:
an animal making room. Yes, I am telling you
there is no other way to touch the instrument
but like this—a body that is fearless and difficult
takes a most beautiful ease to breathe.

In time, we might learn that any gesture
is a kind of displacement, that geography
is as near and small as our birthmarks. If you happen
to remember anything at all, that is because it is hard
to forgive the world’s loveliness—the quick shape
of movement, repetition, each fierce
return. When the body refuses to mark
the leave-taking, it becomes another quiet symbol,
another continent shifting in its sleep. Then we wait,
for nothing else will take on the same form
ever again, only the same name, and suffer
each likeness that constantly betrays us. Yes, I’d rather say
that the world’s duty is to remain still and boundless;
because we choose to stay longer, to touch means to forget.

Allan Justo Pastrana holds a Masters in Creative Writing [Poetry] from the University of the Philippines-Diliman. He finished his bachelors degree at the University of Santo Tomas Conservatory of Music [Music Literature and Piano Performance]. He is a two-time Thomasian Poet of the Year and a recipient of the Rector's Literary Award during his college days. He bagged the Grand Prize in the English Division of the Maningning Miclat Award for Poetry in 2005 and won for the Essay in the 2007 Palanca Awards. His first book of poems is Body Haul [UST PublishingHouse, 2011]. Pastrana teaches Literature at Miriam College. He was a fellow at the Silliman University National Writers Workshop.

How to Write About Dumaguete

By TIMOTHY R. MONTES

1. Go there at an impressionable age—say, fifteen or sixteen. Go to college there and convince yourself you have come, not just for a degree, but also for a heightening of sensations. Enroll in Silliman University (the Vatican in Rome), in some benign program you can coast through without sacrificing the wave you want to surf: the living of a full life.

2. Say you hate it, the place and the people—give yourself six months to one year to wallow in your youthful angst. Hate the pedicabs and the tartanillas and the eternal sunshiny smile of the conformist inhabitants. The lazy, laid-back atmosphere of it—the smugness of people who have to go to church on Sundays, the brown Americans who have inherited the New Englandish traditions of the colonial missionaries. The Protestant predictability of it all.

3. But relish the Cebuano language you have to learn. If you feel frustrated or bored, bury yourself in books. Or watch every movie at Park and Ever theaters, the alternative secular cathedrals of a traditionally religious city. Gloat over the mediocrity of your teachers and classmates, tell yourself you are too good for the school and for the place. Glance sideways at the beautiful girls, practice the eyes of a short story writer to exercise “the art of the glimpse.”

4. After the last full show at Ever or Park, walk the streets. Note the desolate silence of the town after ten o’clock: only the tocino stands catering to drunkards remain open. Walk: it is the 1980s and there is no nightlife in the city to speak of.

5. Let a year of solitude pass by before breaking out of your shell. Then join plays at the Woodward Little Theater, audition at the Luce Auditorium. Run for the Student Government. Meet the geeks who will be your life-long friends and who will teach you to drink beer and experiment with marijuana as you talk of poetry and love and anything that makes you giddy with being alive. Hang out at Manang Siony’s tocinohan until the wee hours of the morning but drag yourself out of bed for your seven o’clock chemistry exam.

6. Top the exam. Push yourself to the limit, stretch those wings: read the most difficult books in the library, audition for the Men’s Glee Club, court the most beautiful girl on campus. Succeed. Fly.

Take note of the pink sky at sunset at Silliman Beach in March. That shade of color will come only once in your life, like the strange feeling you have as you hold her hands there at the end of the airport. Dumaguete sky pink when you’re in love at nineteen. Hold her tight. Violins.

7. Graduate with honors but maintain the arrogance of someone who knows he does not deserve it. Preserve a sentimental contempt for your diploma, tell yourself you got nothing from four years of studies there except memories of being drunk, of acting in plays, of singing in the glee club, of mustering the courage to page a name in the girl’s dorm. Never admit that you, in your self-deflating assessment, have fallen in love with the place. As the bus departs for your first job after graduation, as you leave the city behind, catch the lump in your throat. You are mourning for love, for a girl you’re leaving behind. The place has nothing to do with it.

8. Come back after six months for graduate studies.

“Hey, you’re back. Where did you go?”

“Couldn’t hack it in the real world, eh?”

As if Dumaguete is the Neverland for the Peter Pans of the Visayas.

Come back to school, be the perpetual student! Enroll in creative writing class, join the dreamers club! Spend the next ten years of your life in arrested development, reading fiction and poetry books while your contemporaries buy houses and cars, go abroad to get rich. Become a bicycle-riding college instructor in the school you used to hate.

9. Teach: it’s the best way to earn your bread while flattering your ego. Take midnight walks after hours of grappling with thick novels: disregard the string of nightspots emerging along Rizal Boulevard. You are still encased in the texture of the novel you haven’t finished reading.

10. Fall in love and break your heart again and again. Pedal to projects fringes the city, past Banica River, to the new grids of suburban housing projects where you may bring your girlfriends on long walks. On weekends climb up Camp Lookout in the mountains of Valencia for the satisfaction of looking down at the seaside city you have left behind: there, obscured by coconut crowns, the city of our dreams, your Paris, your New York. Climb down to the disenchanted.

11. Fail. Make crazy forays into law school in a bid become rich and famous, or respectable and useful to society. Fail but remain a believer. Write to your girlfriend: “But I believe in the power of words in the same way that I have faith in my love for you.” Aside from her, you have to convince yourself about this.

12. Wake up to realize you got your latest girlfriend pregnant. You’re thirty years old, you will need to feed a family—buy a house, get a car, join the rat race. Wake up, there’s life beyond college.

13. Leave the place a second time, this time without the urge to look back. You might turn into a pillar of salt.

14. Live in big, noisy ugly cities where, in the midst of the asphalt jungle, you can relish the memory of that city you left behind: the tang of sea air, the shade of acacia trees, waves breaking on the boulevard. The city of my youth! My Paris! My New York! Toil under the burden of this romantic hangover.

15. Let twenty years slide by. Bungle your marriage, bungle your writing. Adopt a cynic’s posturing. Disavow poetry, stop believing in love. That place, that time, was too good to be true. What’s real is the noise and traffic and grime of the big city where the self is crushed into ordinary dimensions. Dumaguete was a dream, a whiff of brine in the air, an echo from a passage of a Chopin nocturne. Don’t confront the fragments of your present life—the inane pop song blaring from a jeepney is the true test of taste and toleration. Don’t mind the beggar children tapping on the car window.

16. Meet the disillusioned writer friends who have gone through the same wringer: fell in love in Dumaguete, fell out when they left it. They wax poetic about something in the past: “Oh, yes, I was happiest when I was there…” and later they trail off into the vocabulary of the damned: “I don’t believe in love anymore…” Hogwash, opiate of the hopeless romantics. As if the place and the emotion attached to it have hardened into an embarrassing synesthesia. It had its place in our lives, but we have outgrown it.

Nod in drunken assent.

17. Revisit the place once in a while, nevertheless. Business, pleasure, whatever. An antireligious pilgrimage, you tell yourself. To brace yourself against the encrustations of romanticism. There is only one city and you have become a stranger to it. Think of it as the heart of the country, the hub of an airline map where all the colored strings converged. But you have settled for a tourist’s deal—a hotel room and hotel meals. The old school has shrunk in your vision and the dorms where you used to stay too seedy. Walk the same old streets in search of the old you. New sounds, new lights. There is now a twenty-four-hour heart beating in the place, thumping to the disco sounds of tourist hangouts along the boulevard. In the quiet bystreets, listen to the echo of your footsteps. Don’t be afraid of the shadow you drag along. Laugh when you remember the joke about a prostitute’s transaction. You have to leave as fast as you come.

18. Believe in miracles when you meet her again after two decades, she who made you feel giddy as a teenager while you held hands at Silliman Beach a long, long time ago. From the debris of both your marriages, walk past the gauntlet of cars at the Manila airport. Hold her hand, wait for the violins to swell again. Inside her car, stare at her and try to see what middle-age pain and suffering has cast on her beauty. It’s not the disjunction of what is remembered and what is perceived that bothers you. It’s the fact that you meet her again in another city, another time. You realize that all your life you have been in transit, and that city of your youth was not the hub of all your journeys but a mere stopover. And so you embrace her again after two decades, feeling like a child cheated out of his chance to say goodbye before the parents met a fatal accident. But it had to be in Paris, this reconciliation, if not in Dumaguete. You cry together as you tell each other’s stories, tracing the trajectory of your separate lives from some point of origin that is more time than place. Dumaguete was where you last saw each other almost two decades ago.

19. Go back, go back there with her. Try to reclaim what was lost. Walk the streets of the city again with her—two middle-aged lovers navigating the traffic of a modern city. The cell phone–toting youngsters don’t know it; the laptop-flaunting students in the old school overlook it. There, the simplicity of it, the clarity of it, the brightness of it. Yes, it’s there. But not in the slick Robinson’s Mall, not in Jollibee, for they were not there twenty years ago. Ask a security guard to do it for you, hoping he will catch it. Stand in the bright sunshine, a little bit to the right of the acacia shade. Smile. Post it later on Facebook.

It’s not a quotation you can post on your Facebook wall. You have to wait for an opportune moment to be able to say it. Maybe a cynical tipsy friend complaining about his wife has to ask a jokey question over bottles of beer and give you a chance at philosophical revisionism. “Love—does it exist?”

Let a second pass before saying it.

20. Write it down.

Yes. But only in Dumaguete, a place you carry in your heart.

Wherever you go.

Timothy R. Montes is from Borongan, Eastern Samar. He studied in the Creative Writing Program of Silliman University under the tutelage of Edilberto Tiempo and Edith Tiempo, and published his first story collection, The Black Men and Other Stories [Anvil] in 1994. He also co-edited, with Cesar Ruiz Aquino, Tribute: An Anthology of Contemporary Philippine Fiction, in memory of his mentor Edilberto K. Tiempo. He has been the recipient of various national awards, such as the Palanca, the Philippines Graphic Literary Prize, the Philippines Free Press Literary Prize, and the Writers Prize from the National Commission for Culture and the Arts. He has taught at Silliman University, the University of the Philippines in Mindanao, and De La Salle University Taft.